herrroooo out there...

I feel like I'm having a one way dialogue with the universe. I know there are people out there who want to have the dialogue I am having with myself and empty air - but I don't know where to find them.

There must be people out there who want to create some kind of crazy theatre project or deconstruct the projects that I think are brilliant (or we think are brilliant) and figure out why they are so powerful and figure out how to create our own works of art. There has to be someone out there who wants to discuss what I've been listening to podcasts on...but where are they.......

And until then - I guess I'll just keep pathetically posting videos on facebook hoping someone might be interested and strike up a conversation...

Oh - and they apparently fired the director of CAROUSEL today and hired The director of IOLANTHE - and for some reason this has me in a horrible tizzy. I should just not care. STUPID FREAKING EMOTIONS. So inconvenient.

doggies

Dog act very strangely around me. In a good way I think. Today, I stepped on a plug and as I hobbled to a Duane Reade for some ibuprofen and bandaids, a dog walking completely normally ran to the door of Duane and refused to move despite its owners tugging, pulling, and cajoling. I finally approached the door and the owner apologized for the dog blocking it and I said that's o.k. I Love dogs! At which point the dog literally jumped on me - and hugged (not humped) my leg and wouldnt let go. I knelt down and talked to it and petting its head and all the cute things I would do to a roo if I actually owned one. The dog refused to to leave. I finally told (Sara) that it had to go - and off it went. Another time, I was in an ice cream shop and the dog (A CORGI even!) came RUNNING into the ice cream shop and did a very similar thing. I think maybe dogs know just love them so much and want one, so they come running up to me and their owners always apologize profusely for their behavior - and I explain it is PERFECTLY fine - I am HAPPY to have a dog's attention! I don't mind slobber on my nose or paws on my jeans. But they just LOVE to come running up to me on the street - despite their owners protestations that their dogs "never do that." It makes me happy that they do it to me!:)

I spent this afternoon (after a wonderful celebratory CHEESEBURGER with the accompanist of IOLANTHE - I needed a cheeseburger after straw hat) comforting the only other person I actually KNOW who did her Straw Hat audition today...she got no callbacks.:-( She is now convinced she sucks and should quit. To be perfectly honest - she is actually REALLY good! She can sing and has a lot of versatility! (Give her a style - she can sing it!) I think it was just an odd random audition - and who knows why some people got (15!!!! a the girl yesterday was gleefully shouting) and some none. Everyone I heard was great.

I've also become BIZARRELY addicted to orange juice. I think the weather outside is SO GROSS and depressing - the Vitamin C and citrusy taste allows me to pretend I'm somewhere tropical - or Florida. I wonder if Vitamin C can actually cure the winter blues - which are hitting me HARD this year. But I am craving orange juice more than ice cream AND chocolate...so weird. If given the choice - I'd choose the juice of the orange. (I've tried REAL oranges - but they don't do the trick. Maybe it's because we only get crappy oranges or out of season oranges here. They aren't sweet and juicy and succulent - they are dry and bitter. I also tried 50% calories orange juice - but sadly it was 50% the deliciousness.)

Winter Blue GO AWAY! And don't come again another day!

Straw Hat take 2

The my evil plan, I think, did work out. All the theatres that I didn't get to see at Straw Hat saw me today. The theatre that I would consider the best theatre there (they actually have Broadway stars playing the leads already in most of their summer season - including an original lead of the Scarlet Pimpernel (no ...not Dougie...his nemesis.) actually called me back for the ingenue of Guy and Dolls. Well - THAT was unexpected. Too bad I have somehow gone through my entire life not learning the music to Guys and Dolls. So after a frantic phone call to my dad who held the phone up to a computer so I could hear the song at least once before I went in (see post from last year about how my dad is cooler than yours...) - I went in and the pianist had me sing...a rocking four bars. He didn't even tell WHICH four bars. He said let's begin - so I started where the sheet music begins. Turns our he had a different four bar cut in mind. Oh...I had to stop and ask him to start over again and tell me where he was starting from...and he played - as Candace would play after we've gone over it to give me an example of a worst case scenario accompanist. What does that mean? It means - he gives you NO HELP. No melody - just the weird harmonic chords. Well - damn. Glad I warmed up the hard opera stuff so the Fs and Gs in this song were super easy. (Most Musical theatre songs rest on a "middle E" or lower. It's rare to get stuff where the first note is an F. I'm wasn't worried about HITTING the notes but I just hope I sang the right notes for THIS song and wasn't flat. The director was SHOCKED I didn't have it memorized. (Now that I think about it - I do believe Alex told me I should get that song from the library and work on it...but it got lost in the long list of other songs he recommended...and I think IS IT REALLY ME was chosen over it...DOH! Need to stop listening to contemporary opera about obscure yet important political events and learn the classic rep to musical! GAH! I SHOULD know that song. Esp. now that I've heard it - it IS a really great song for me. BLARGHLEBOTS! Hope I didn't totally make a fool of myself. And I wish I could have done more than 4 bars --- the other 2 girls called back on got 4 bars too...) The director then asked me my least favorite question that isn't "do you top" or "can you sing a pop song." This question is - on a scale of 1-10 (Or in this case 1-5) how good of a dancer are you. (Apparently he wasn't at the dance call) Well - I said 5. And he said REALLY? ANd I said absolutely. What do you want to see? I will do it right now. And he said - he didn't need to see it - but asked a again - are you sure you're a good dancer? Me: Yes. I will do the dance call combination for you right here right now. He said - he didn't need it and he'd write me down as a 5.

I hate this question because it's so subjective and so circumstantial. What STYLE of dance? Tap dance - NEGATIVE 5. Flamenco a zero. Ballet for musical theatre dancers a 10. Ballet for professional ballet dancers in American Ballet Theatre...maybe a 1. Ballet for dancers at ballet florida...maybe a 6 with bigger thighs...Fosse -a 7...The jazz my favorite jazz teachers teach - 8-10 depending on the combo. Contemporary 10. Do you want me to mambo? I can't do that. I'm sorry. I send latin dance teachers into a tizzy. How important is flexibility to you? I can outflex everyone who isn't a contortionist. How important is rhythm? I'm not so hot at that. Do you want awesome pirouettes, fouettes, and fan kicks - I'm your gal. It's a horrible unfair question and everyone lies and exaggerates and when it comes down to it - it's personal preference of the choreographer. I think I am a great dancer - so do the teachers at STEPS - but for some reason I can't make it out of a dance call. I don't know why this is. No one seems to be able to tell me. If you want to know how I dance - dance me. Don't ask me. And dance everyone else for that matter.

But - at the end of the day - I was called for an ingenue! HA! FINALLY! At a good theatre. So - that in and of itself it an accomplishment in my book!

I was really scared actually going into Straw Hat - because I always talk about how if I was only SEEN then I'd get called back and/or hired. But I'm never seen. So what if I WAS seen and no one called me back! That would be horrible! I didn't do as well as the girl running around today yelling I GOT called back for 15!!!!! But neither did most people. The girl who sang right in front of me didn't get any.:-( I did get called back for every theatre but one looking for a legit voices - about 1/3 of the theatres there. That is what I have to offer. I obviously wasn't going to get called back for DOLLYWOOD (Dolly Parton themed amusement park) or The Rock'nRoll Review at a themepark show, or the theatres doing seasons of Grease, Legally Blonde, and 42nd street and The Buddy Holly story. I'm o.k. with that. I was more concerned about the theatres that do play to my strong suits, and in those, I did pretty darn well. So mission accomplished!

I'm ready for my card!

Which brings me to my next point - unions. Hrmm...unions. So problematic in my mind. I see unions being greedy - asking for things that don't make sense when you view the big picture. (I.e.- theatre unions complaining about greedy producers who want to get rich. DUH! That's why they are producing. YOU want them to get rich so the want to and CAN produce more shows! yes - it would be nice to be paid $5000 a week instead of $1500 - but if you do - there won't be a show to put on and we'll all be out of work.) Or - the fact that more money can be spend paying off pensions than on people in the actual workforce in certain unions. And - well - me and the police have a very special relationship...BUT Straw Hat made me realize how wonderful unions are. So while at first I thought that crazy governor in Wisconsin maybe had a point - now - I think he is that crazy governor from Wisconsin. I do not doubt that reassessing certain budget point that will effect unions is necessary for fixing the economy - but taking away a unions power is pretty horrible. And the way he is going about the whole ordeal is pretty horrible as well. I don't understand the bill entirely - and every paper I read is incredibly liberal - I asked my uber republican friend to explain it from his point of view...and it does make sense...until you go to straw hat - and realize that without a union you might be working for $150 a week driving yourself around for 15 hours a day and staying with host families in underpriviledged neighborhood. Maybe $50000 a year pensions for every year after the age of 40 are unncessary (though it would be nice...)- but a union still needs to be able to stand up for its workers and bargain fair working conditions.

The most anticlimactic day of climaxes

Today was Straw Hat AND the day I met John Adams.

Straw Hat is possibly the most BIZARRE audition experience I have ever been to. It's a cross between a bad tween drama movie, a speech and debate tournament, and a regular audition.

I was probably the oldest one by about ten years. I didn't necessarily LOOK it - apparently no one could tell until some girl was asking where all the 30 year olds were - since we (a group of about 6 who were sitting together) were all still in college. But the way you act, communicate, wait, dress, etc...is ever so subtly different and it felt weird.

The way Straw Hat works is - you get 90 seconds to do a monologue and a song - you wait in a line then go onto a stage (ironically the same stage where VLOG performs) do your "thang' - leave - wait for the rest of your group to go (you are grouped by hour - so if you went anytime between 12 and 1 - you are 12 o'clock) - then sheets of paper are posted on a wall under the name of each attending theatre - with all of your names on them. there are three columns where you name can be checked - dance - singing - or we will call you later. My name was checked 6 times. (actually 5- but apparently they forgot to post a sheet - so they came running to me at the very end - and I said - I'm sorry - I'm supposed to meet John Adams - can I come back tomorrow - at which point they all said YOU ARE SEEING NIXON IN CHINA!?!?!?!?! GOOOOO! GOOO NOW! COME BACK TOMORROW! WE'RE JEALOUS TAKE US WITH YOU!) wow - that was actually a valid excuse? I'm sorry I'm meeting John Adams? Sweet. Ironically - I got ZERO callbacks from the dance call and 6 for singing. From what I could tell - 6 was a pretty good number. I was afraid I'd get zero. But I didn't. Sadly some people did.:-( My goal was one. I exceeded it - so victory! And I also think I did well because all but one theatre looking for legit soprano singers called me back. (STUPID CAROUSEL! WHY DO YOU ELUDE ME!?!?!?!) Auditions went until 11 p.m. but I of course left to meet John Adams. So - if you name is checked - you go into a class room - yes a class room at PACE and do whatever they ask you to do. Sing - act - tap (I was asked to tap AND sight sing in the same audition and they seemed to think I did a decent job. Weird. They are only looking for two people though - so - who knows.) Anyhooooo - that's about it. But what surprised me - everyone is always talking about how FABULOUS Straw Hat is - and while yes - an opportunity to be seen - honestly - most of the theatres there weren't theatres I'd go work at - or audition for to begin with. For example - Hershey Park. I don't really have any desire to be a dancer at Hershey Park. Or a singer. Or a travelling children's theatre where you live with host families in each "underprivileged community" for a week - and drive yourself around in a car - but don't worry - there is a 15 hour a day driving cap. Er......???? No - that's o.k. Or - a lot of theatre thatpay $325 before taxes a week but that doesn't include housing in Ohio....er.......o.k. - so I will basically PAY to work for you by having to pay for my own housing and food...in Ohio--- for five months. I have to say - I was feeling pretty down on Unions - but after this - I am saying GO UNION GO! $325 minus housing (and I'm assuming minus a car? unless there is housing next to the theatre?) is not really cool. Nor is a 15 hour driving day living with host families in underprivileged communities... There were a few good theatres - and I was called back for a few - one I sadly missed and they will hopefully see me tomorrow. They weren't beginning auditions until 10 p.m.!!!!!!! And I believe if they offer me a contract it will once again put off being equity - AND - I have no idea how much they pay. But we'll see if they can see me tomorrow. I filled out the paperwork, but couldn't find them to speak with in person.

Anyhow - sadly - J.A. was a bit of a disappointment too. I missed the first of Nixon staying for callbacks. I raced there - and I must say the opera was 100 times better now that I've literally spent three weeks studying the music AND studying China and Nixon and Kissinger and Chou En-Lai - and Mao - and the effects this meeting had one the world and is still having to this day. The director is a BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT man! It was very inspiring and reminded me of why I loved directing. It is very rare I see something so intelligent creative and fanciful. Every moment on stage...every image...every movement...has a very profound and inspired purpose. Of course this was all completely lost on me when I first saw it - partly because I was in the fourth circle - but mostly because I had no idea what was going on. Who was chou en-lai? Wait...Nixon went to China? Why is Kissinger there? Now I know - and wow - genius production. Plus - the director Nixon summed up in a podcast what is so brilliant about the composers work - first of all he visits China without ever sounding "Chinese" but more importantly - within the dramatic themes - his music never tells you what to think - it builds dramatically while leaving itself open for the audience to make its own conclusions (or ask its own questions.) IS this a triumphant march? or not? Wow - the wife of Mao is acting incredibly scary - but this music is so joyous - but the words are so creepy - but the rhythm is a march - should I be marching triumphantly? There is something discordant...something isn't right...or am I making that up. All of this is SO much better than just saying communist China is evil! It let's you see it from a different perspective - and then ANOTHER perspective...and then ANOTHER...and then contemplate what YOUR perspective is. To be honest - I could never express it in words - but with both Doctor Atomic and Nixon - that WAS very apparent to me. I loved that Doctor Atomic never made you think the bomb was good or bad - Nixon helps you understand the mentality that brought the Chinese into behaving as they did when Mao was in charge...it's just brilliant.

So I was thinking of all these BRILLIANT conversations I would have with JA over his work - and how he interacted with the director (who just GUSHES about their collaboration) and the director of Doctor atomic (who he hand picked and who had never directed ANYTHING on stage before - yet it was GENIUS) - and over political blogs about China...the inspirations for his music...how he is creating the national narrative through his work that no one else seems to be able to achieve. (literally - how many people ask me when I say the US should have a national theatre - ask me about that? And the RSC an RNT are CONSTANTLY trying to figure that out as a condition of their govt. funding.) JA achieves this!!!!! He finds these pivitol moments in our country's life - and presents to an audience through music what our generation is doing on this planet and forces us to contemplate our actions and decide whether or nor we need to change directions or build upon what we have already achieved.) Anyhow - yes - we will discuss all of this and become great friends and he will say things that just BLOW my mind and make me 10,000 times more intelligent and change my entire perspective on theatre and life and art and politics! It will be magical!

Anyway ----- The BIG moment came! I got to meet JA! WOWZA - this is it! And..........

he shook my hand. yes - that was it. For a very very very long time. In fact he ran away before I could even get an autograph - but then came back lost in the underground maze that is the Met - and I did manage to get the autograph - (which he was very nice about but also seemed a little...in a rush to not be in a hallway signing autographs - which I totally understand) - After all that I am contemplating traded to Natalia for copies of her score. (I realllly don't want to pay $85 plus shipping for the score........)

So...I kind of feel - unfinished - by that meeting. It's always been my experience though - I should never meet my heros unless its under professional working circumstances - because I don't really want an autograph - or a hand shake - I want a collaboration - a discussion - an insight - something more... I know famous people...autographs sit on shelves...handshakes get washed off - but the nuggets of information! That is the real prize!

So - maybe I should have stayed for that one audition at Straw Hat - was Nixon worth it? I don't know. Maybe I'll still get seen by that audition. Maybe I will or will not get cast in anything from that. Maybe - I will decide I need to direct something again inspired by Nixon because fat conductor man wants to pay for it (he keeps offering to produce a "weird opera for me to direct".) Maybe I'll get my equity card and get to audition for "real" things and get a super fierce job. Maybe...everyone is right and I'm really supposed to be an opera singer...I personally think it will give me a nervous breakdown based on the ONE French aria I tried to learn. But in the past two weeks a lot was accomplished - and I opened a lot of new doors - and there is some sun shining in. Even if today was a rather anticlimactic day of climaxes.

ENCHANTED Isle

Just wanted to write that I am very happy today!

And the SATYAGRAHA is coming back to the MET!!!!!!!!!! And something that may even be better!!!!! THE ENCHANTED ISLAND!!!!!!!!

And I get to sing in an opera!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well - I went in and the nice guy who was at the VLOG concert told me to just sing my IOLANTHE aria. So I sang that (SO MUCH EASIER than Je Veux Vivre...) and after I finished everyone was smiling - and turns out they had seen me as Tzeitel and thought I was great in that - and said "It's safe to say you'll be in this production - we'll call you to let you know what part." (My GUESS is "Cigarette Girl" AKA - the chorus - and apparently there is one who has to dance...so - that one? but who knows. i don't really care. I'm thrilled to work on the music.) And they said my voice was "dark and rich" so it was easy to see why people keep mistaking me for an alto or mezzo. (I guess they are dark and rich?) And they said - so you'll be in France March 15-25th? That's o.k. - it's probably right when music rehearsals will be - but we'll catch you up!:):):) (Oh my roommate who owes me many dollars in rent will...)

Next big audition is saturday! EEEEEEK! It's Straw Hat - which is a bunch of theatre and casting directors gathering together and you get 90 seconds to do a monologue and a song. (so in my case - 32 bars of a song and 30 seconds of monologue.) It's basically for non-equity people who don't get seen. But in THREE WEEKS! I WILL BE SEEN! I WILL BE SEEN! I WILL BE SEEN! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Gotta go train so I can be STUPENDOUS when seen! Thank you wife of Mao Zedong and your high Ds for giving me my mojo back!:) (Knock on Wood.)

Disney!

I feel it's time for me to have my great romance and for the universe to stop messing with my heartstrings! Come on universe! I believe in Disney - give me Disney!

OPERA ARIAS!

Wednesday I'm auditioning for an---- OPERA! EEEEEEEEK! There is a LOVELY equity loophole that says you can do OPERAS that don't pay because they are covered under a completely different union. (AGMA) I also don't like NOT doing something - so I"m auditioning for the VLOG equivalent of the opera world - they are doing Carmen - and they asked me to prepare THREE arias! WHAT? I have - ZERO arias! So for a while I was freaking out that I had to learn THREE arias! *OPERA* ARIAS are far harder than anything I have ever worked on. For one - they aren't in ENGLISH! (Unless you are doing the weird operas I like - such as NIXON IN CHINA or DOCTOR ATOMIC - but that's not what they want for CARMEN.) It is very hard to MEMORIZE things that aren't in English - much less - pronounce them - and "singing" pronounce them...which is different that speaking them. I started working on a French aria - and all the rules of pronunciation are thrown out. Apparently you roll the Rs like you do in ITALIAN when you are singing and make one syllable words two syllables. Example "Revre" (pronounced REV) is SUNG Rev-Uh. Arias are also LONGER - much longer than musical theatre songs - and they tend to not have any "choruses" every line has it's own unique little embellishments. By the time I"m don't - I want to pass out of exhaustion. But that's not just due to the length - it's also due to the difficulty. THere are lots of "runs" and "candenzas" which are very difficult and you literally use your entire range - consistently. In musical theatre - you are lucky if you get one high note at the end of song. Here - you have high low middle - notes everywhere! in every four bars you probably use your entire range - both in terms of high and low notes and loud and soft notes. Wow - opera singers - my hat truly goes off to you!

Anyhow - I offered before the whole CAROUSEL ordeal to do this very bizarre VLOG concert this weekend - and it turns out the guy I am auditioning for on Wednesday was also in the concert. It was suggested I talk to him and explain that I just don't have three arias - (and really one can't learn 3 arias if one has NEVER learned an aria and have them ready to audition with in 5 days.) So I explained that I have never done opera before - unless you count IOLANTHE - (which after learning these "real" arias - IOLANTHE does not count!) - but that I was very excited about learning and would be thrilled to just be in the ensemble. (Really - learning an entire opera in FRENCH - ensemble is probably what I'm capable of!) And he said to just sing my IOLANTHE aria - and prepare Juliet's Waltz - which is in French - the same language as Carmen - so he could hear my French. SO FEW! I only have to learn ONE aria ---- and I have great friends who are helping me figure out the style and how to pronounce everything etc...I'm excited and hopefully I'll get to be a part of it!

And - let me tell you - after working on Juliet's Waltz - all of my musical theatre songs feel so much easier! It's like lifting 500 pounds to prepare to lift 300 pounds. I'm excited. We'll see what happens. Just gotta keep trying things!:)

cool.

I have cool friends.

Yes Please

Super fun dance class followed by super fun voice lesson followed by free tickets to Don Pasquale with my favoritest roommate - where Anna Netrebko does a grand rond de jambe while singing high notes in her first aria - followed suprisingly attractive Viennese MBA hedge fund guy sitting in front of you giving you his contact info and wanting to talk about Nixon in China - YES PLEASE! More days like today!:)

I am not a trophy wife!

OK- it's my own fault - I shouldn't have said - but I just can't EVER turn down free tickets to the Met - and Fat Conductor Man offered me free tickets to La Boheme - which I have never seen before. He said we were going with two of his friends - so I thought it would be safe - but it turned out - he just wanted to flaunt his money and be seen with "a beautiful girl." O.k. - so I am somewhat flattered I fall into the "beautiful girl" category - but I am NOT thrilled about being flaunted about like some trophy wife. First of all - I am not your wife - I am not even your DATE - do not try to kiss me - put your arm around me - hold my hand when Mimi dies - I've been running around singing I AM THE WIFE OF MAO ZEDONG - I can handle death on stage. I don't need comforting. And - btw - the parterre restaurant at the Met - makes awful crabcakes - and ice cream - both ridiculously over priced. I wasn't paying - but $42 for crappy crabcakes...seems a bit extravagant to me....and if there is ice cream - and I can't finish it - we have a problem. But mostly - do not show me off like a freaking trophy wife. Besides - I'm a thespian - I feel weird being with a man in a tux and a top hat at a theatre - I am the girl who is a little too comfortable in her jeans in a corner where she can see but not necessarily be seen - with the other thespians - OR being on stage - or back stage - or the stage managers booth - or the director's box...but the rich patrons section kinda creeps me out for some reason...I don't know why...but the entire time I just wanted to hop on the stage and sing dance and play with all of them!

And seriously- the next person who tries to "comfort" me about CAROUSEL - I will punch! I don't need comforting. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to buy a ticket. I don't want to work on press for it. I don't want to explain why I"m not doing it. I don't want to discuss how ridiculous it was that I didn't get a callback - I know it's ridiculous - but talking about it doesn't help. I don't want to talk about rehearsals. I don't want to talk about the cast. I don't want to hear about it. At all. Please. Stop Asking. And stop trying to tell me the only reason I"m upset if because I don't have confidence in myself. I DO have confidence in myself. That's the problem. I would be FABULOUS in that role - and everyone knows it EXCEPT the frigging music director and director. Everyone knows I should have been called back. And YOU - telling me I'm pretty and talented and smart and should have been called back isn't going to help. ESPECIALLY if you are on the BOARD and could have DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Please - leave me alone. When I ask you a question about Proust - or the moon Europa on Saturn - or French Poetry - or about an opera - or whether you prefer nachos with or without jalepenos - these are NOT CODE FOR LETS TALK ABOUT CAROUSEL I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE. It is me wanting to talk about whatever topic I bring up! PLEASE! LEAVE ME ALONE!

And while we're on the topic - NO I DIDNT go to the LITTLE MERMAID DANCE CALL. WHY? because I was at the SHOWBOAT CALL being TYPED OUT - even though they were looking for legit sopranos who dance ballet - and I am friends with the choreographer. WTF? So stop telling me I should have gone to Mermaid - I obviously know that NOW - but if you are me looking at cast breakdowns: Legit soprano who dance ballet choreographed by guy I know - vs.: looking for strong tappers bring a pop song - which are you going to choose?

I should probably go and pretend I'm the wife of Mao Zedong and then go to bed. VOICE LESSON WITH ALEX! I LOVE VOICE LESSONS!:) Gotta work on my straw hat audition!

PS - I should state that LA BOHEME is a WONDERFUL opera - no wonder it is so popular!:)

maomao

The Chinese new year had been treating me much kinder than to January 1 New Year!:) (Touch wood!) I think my mojo may be coming back. And oddly - I think I owe it to NIXON IN CHINA and an extremely bizarre aria called I am the Wife of Mao Tse-Teung. It is this crazy evil aria that ChianChin (Madame Mao) sings at the end of Act II - basically about how amazing Mao's little red book is - of course - it is in an opera written in American by Americans during the Cold War - so - it is not treated in a very pleasant light. They decided to make the character a "shrieking coloratura" and she has an aria that never drops below a high Bflat from what I can tell. In my mental depressed freak out - I lost all my confidence in my high notes - and they were gross and cracky - and despite ALL of Candace's efforts to get me to sing (even taking me to her school to record music) - they just weren't happening. I was a mess - and would randomly start crying because I was far more upset about Carousel than I was letting on...even to myself. So - I got a hold of this song - and decided I wanted to sing it. I expected it to be HORRIBLE - because - it's freaking HARD and HIGH. But I started singing it and Candace came out and said "holy shit! Where is that coming from!? I've NEVER heard your High Ds like that! They are so strong and clear!" And over the course of the week/weekend I kept on singing it - and she said - every time! Those Ds! I don't know where they are coming from but they are there!" And I was hitting Es and Fs like I haven't before! Something about being given to be a "shrieking coloratura" made me NOT a shrieking coloratura - but gave me the freedom to bust out those high notes strong and loud! And this - very bizarre aria and very bizarre way of "practicing" gave me confidence in myself again to go out and conquer the world - not matter what stupid VLOG music directors thing! Why? Because I AM THE WIFE OF MAO TSE-TEUNG! It is INCREDIBLY strange - I know - but hey - whatever works! So that's how I got my vocal mojo back...

My dance mojo came in the form of a Burlesque number in my theatre dance class - where I apparently managed to be sexy for once - instead of Disney! AND dance on the rhythm!

I took an improv class today! IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! I've been extremely scared of improv because there is no script - just your imagination - but the catch is - you are supposed to be funny - not glittery or shakespeare. I thought I would fail miserably - but I don't think I did. I just had a lot of fun and the teacher said I did a great job! It might be the acting class I need! Since I am always told to be more 'natural" and that's what improv is - "being natural" and "truthful" to the situation! AND - if I decide to take a full course - it is the CHEAPEST by far of any acting class I've found in the city! WOOHOO!

Then - there are two boys - oddly placed in the universe --- who - maybe show a little promise. I'm afraid to get too excited - but to the best of my knowledge - neither of them has ever dressed up like a pirate or superhero...but that's only to the best of my knowledge. One has pictures where he is surrounded by some people dressed as pirate - but he, in fact, is in normal street cloths...which - is a good sign...knock on wood!