I am not a trophy wife!

OK- it's my own fault - I shouldn't have said - but I just can't EVER turn down free tickets to the Met - and Fat Conductor Man offered me free tickets to La Boheme - which I have never seen before. He said we were going with two of his friends - so I thought it would be safe - but it turned out - he just wanted to flaunt his money and be seen with "a beautiful girl." O.k. - so I am somewhat flattered I fall into the "beautiful girl" category - but I am NOT thrilled about being flaunted about like some trophy wife. First of all - I am not your wife - I am not even your DATE - do not try to kiss me - put your arm around me - hold my hand when Mimi dies - I've been running around singing I AM THE WIFE OF MAO ZEDONG - I can handle death on stage. I don't need comforting. And - btw - the parterre restaurant at the Met - makes awful crabcakes - and ice cream - both ridiculously over priced. I wasn't paying - but $42 for crappy crabcakes...seems a bit extravagant to me....and if there is ice cream - and I can't finish it - we have a problem. But mostly - do not show me off like a freaking trophy wife. Besides - I'm a thespian - I feel weird being with a man in a tux and a top hat at a theatre - I am the girl who is a little too comfortable in her jeans in a corner where she can see but not necessarily be seen - with the other thespians - OR being on stage - or back stage - or the stage managers booth - or the director's box...but the rich patrons section kinda creeps me out for some reason...I don't know why...but the entire time I just wanted to hop on the stage and sing dance and play with all of them!

And seriously- the next person who tries to "comfort" me about CAROUSEL - I will punch! I don't need comforting. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to buy a ticket. I don't want to work on press for it. I don't want to explain why I"m not doing it. I don't want to discuss how ridiculous it was that I didn't get a callback - I know it's ridiculous - but talking about it doesn't help. I don't want to talk about rehearsals. I don't want to talk about the cast. I don't want to hear about it. At all. Please. Stop Asking. And stop trying to tell me the only reason I"m upset if because I don't have confidence in myself. I DO have confidence in myself. That's the problem. I would be FABULOUS in that role - and everyone knows it EXCEPT the frigging music director and director. Everyone knows I should have been called back. And YOU - telling me I'm pretty and talented and smart and should have been called back isn't going to help. ESPECIALLY if you are on the BOARD and could have DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Please - leave me alone. When I ask you a question about Proust - or the moon Europa on Saturn - or French Poetry - or about an opera - or whether you prefer nachos with or without jalepenos - these are NOT CODE FOR LETS TALK ABOUT CAROUSEL I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE. It is me wanting to talk about whatever topic I bring up! PLEASE! LEAVE ME ALONE!

And while we're on the topic - NO I DIDNT go to the LITTLE MERMAID DANCE CALL. WHY? because I was at the SHOWBOAT CALL being TYPED OUT - even though they were looking for legit sopranos who dance ballet - and I am friends with the choreographer. WTF? So stop telling me I should have gone to Mermaid - I obviously know that NOW - but if you are me looking at cast breakdowns: Legit soprano who dance ballet choreographed by guy I know - vs.: looking for strong tappers bring a pop song - which are you going to choose?

I should probably go and pretend I'm the wife of Mao Zedong and then go to bed. VOICE LESSON WITH ALEX! I LOVE VOICE LESSONS!:) Gotta work on my straw hat audition!

PS - I should state that LA BOHEME is a WONDERFUL opera - no wonder it is so popular!:)