News

In NIXON IN CHINA, Nixon's first lines are:

News has a kind of mystery.

When I shook hand with Chou En-Lai

Just now on this fair field outside Peking

The whole world was listening.

And though we spoke quietly

the eyes and ears of history

caught every gesture and every word.

Transforming us as we transfixed.

Made History.

No recent current event illustrated the meaning of these lyrics more than the royal wedding. OF COURSE I woke up to watch it - I love England. I love royalty. I love current events. I love things that sparkle and involved pomp and pagentry. I love HUMONGOUS theatrical productions. I love history. I love pretty classical music. I love fairytales. And apparently so do 3 billion other people.

Every bride (I hear) goes a little crazy wanting her wedding to be perfect, but it is really an intimate bond between two people. And - well - that's what it was for Wils and Kate. But as they went about their "intimate" little party - news stations LITERALLY hired lip readers to translate what the newly weds were saying to each other that the microphones couldn't pick up! One of these RIVETING conversations went something like: W: Do you like balloons? K: Yes. W: They are about to release a bunch. This has got to be one of the most inane conversations of all time - and yet - lip readers were hired to "translate" it - and THEN royal "experts" were brought in to "analyze" it - and 3 billion people (pathetically myself included) CARED! To quote Nixon in China again: ITS PRIME TIME IN THE USA!!!!!!!!

News is CRAZY. It TELLS us what we need to think is important. It tells us who "experts" are - whose "opinions" we should listen to. It cuts, it splices, it analyzes, it interprets, bends, molds, highlights, and accentuates according to its own agenda. And truthfully - a great deal of the news we put on our front pages - are as simple as an every day - unmemorable handshake between two guys meeting eachother at a bar. Only the world press is present - to make it "important" and to make us care.

Honestly, do I feel like I was taken away to a MAGICAL place by the royal wedding? Absolutely not. In truth - after watching THE LITTLE MERMAID on Broadway 6 times - this wedding was a downright let down. (They had a FABULOUS wedding at the end of MERMAID - completely with all the magical sea creatures sprouting legs and humans being able to breathe underwater - and all the mermaids and men danced and sang together in front of a MARVELOUS glittery backdrop whilst a PART OF YOUR WORLD reprise was sung by my beloved Sierra and Fabrizio. This had kinda boring music and a total lack of glitter - and what it resulted in was me being RIDICULOUSLY exhausted and sleep deprived for everything I ACTUALLY had to accomplish today. (COME ON MET! HIRE ME AS AN ACTOR!)But I got swept away by NEWS - and it's MYSTERY!

cat fights on stage

Today the music director of CARMEN acknowledged me! This sounds like something a normal music director SHOULD do - but it isn't. And to this point - he basically pretended the wonky soprano trying to hide didn't exist. However - TODAY - he didn't do that - and acknowledged me as a soprano section leader. This shouldnt really be a big deal to me - since for all intents and purposes - I am the ONLy soprano (There are two old ladies who dont really sing and two other girl who - if they are singing - are REALLLLLLY quiet - and a two leads who occasionally join in when they feel like it or see that I am spazzing and doing my default I AM SCARED SO IM JUST GOING TO SING A RANDOM HIGH NOTE AND PRETEND NO ONE NOTICES. (This is the DUMBEST fear reflex EVER - since no one DOESNT notice a high loud note - but its what I do.) Anyhow - it made me happy.

Then I called over to the side and was asked to play Manuella - the girl who slices Carmen's face with a knife - for four of the performances. She is a tough street girl and apparently also pulls Carmens hair. As is KIND of demonstrated here: Skip to 2:40 or the two girls fighting on top of the stage here: crazy cat fights. Small achievements but they make me happy - that I have somehow gotten some respect from all of these crazy REAL opera singers that intimidate and inspire me!

elephants and wolves and bats oh my!

In a valiant effort to control where my tax money goes, help the planet, and give my friends cool gifts, I have taken to adopting animals for them from the World Wildlife Fund and Sheldrick Wildlife Trust. All donations are tax deductible (YAY!) and the WWF comes with an AMAZINGLY cute and LARGE stuffed animal (how on earth do they make money with these animals?) certificates and pictures of the breed of animal you adopt. Each person has their own animal preferences so its fun to choose. The Sheldrick Trust I discovered because my friend Alena won free tickets to see BORN TO BE WILD in IMAX. It's Disney so I was BOUND to love it - but on top of it having the most BRILLIANT 3-D EVER - (I seriously was about to go swimming in the water) it made me realize how AMAZING elephants are. I had gotten clue before, but this movie really drove it home. The Sheldrick Trust is dedicated to helping all sorts of animals, but mainly orphaned baby elephants in Kenya, get healthy enough to return to the wild. The amount of research etc... that went into the trust (It apparently took 20 years to develop a MILK that could sustain the elephants!) is amazing. And, in my opinion, their donor program makes more sense. They do NO mailings - they want all their money to go to the elephants. Everything is done via e-mail. You don't get a stuffed animal or fancy gift basket - but opposed to nebulously donating to a random breed, you choose an exact elephant to foster - and then but you to view an on-line keepers log of that elephant! (And if its a gift - you AND the giftee get to view the log.) It gives you daily updated on the elephant and photos of the elephant being cute. (For some reason the baby elephants remind me of corgis - but everyone says I'm insane.) You also get fun watercolor painting prints via e-mail that various artists do of elephants. It's a very cool program. The more I read about it - the more impressed I am! Of course, most of my friends would rather have a cute stuffed animal - but I know ONE - whose birthday is in a mere 2 weeks - who would much rather have an elephant! And an elephant she shall get!!!!!!!!!!! I even found a baby elephant that has the same "birthday" (brought to the trust day) as her! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT! lol.

deleted the venty

Wrote the venty part - then deleted it to protect the innocent -

Now onto the HAPPY part. I sang my high Cs today in CARMEN and someone said "you have a GREAT high C!" :):):) Yay opera people think my high notes are "great!" And while I can't take the job - someone heard me singing while cleaning floors at Steps and offered to pay me quite a bit of money to sing a song from Phantom of the Opera at an event. SUCKS that I cant take it and GRRRR non-equity opportunities deciding to pop up NOW - but YAY for people liking my voice!:) It just astounds me because I remember at the Northwestern summer program, I was told to not pursue singing because I would never be good enough. I suppose I TECHNICALLY still haven't WORKED as a singer (COME ON WISCONSIN! I APOLOGIZED FOR THE FOOTBALL INCIDENT...) I am still getting really positive feedback and it makes me SO happy that my hard work seems to be paying off! (TOUCH WOOD!)

Also - today I was in the Time Warner center and I saw a ROOOOOOO! And I knelt down to say hello - then I sat down because the owner was a very PROUD owner who loves talking about roos - and then the roo crawled into my lap and feel asleep and it was CUTE and I was happy and covered in ROOOOOO FUR!:):):) Now THAT HAS to be GOOD LUCK!:):):)

Pretty

Pretty girls have always haunted me. I seem to befriend them - and then feel really horrible about myself because I'm not as pretty as them - or at least not as willing to put in the 2 hours of prep work it takes to LOOK pretty - and deal with the inconveniences such as uncomfortable shoes or skirts that fly up while walking down the street, etc... However, lately, I do believe I've gotten better at it. It's kind of sad how differently people treat you when you are in what I call a "naked dress" versus jeans and sneakers.

I actually can't write my thoughts - because I believe some of the people who read this will get hurt. But there is a lot of frustration, annoyance, aggravation, and vanity going through my head right now.

I'm also looking back at old pictures going WHAT WAS I THINKING!?!?!?!?!?

Also watched a nature documentary today called BORN TO BE WILD - that made me want to run away to Kenya and work on an orphan elephant farm - and make some huge contribution to the planet.

The past few days I've been GIDDY with the prospect that I might get to move to mid-town. It will take MASSIVE consolidation, but I'm up for it. And I actually think I'll SAVE money by not having to "kill time" and eat out or see a movie or wander into a store with no intention of buying anything - then coming out with five books that I probably won't read since I'm all about podcasts now. I hope it works out! And I hope that Wisconsin works out well too. I'm so sorry Wisconsin for rooting against your football team for the past three years. I HAD a really great motive - but I promise to never print out pictures of dead-badgers on gameday again if you just call me and give me back my job! You know I am ready willing and able - and I will be incredible in the show - you WANT me to be in it - so just give me a call and make it official! WAHOO!:) (See - I'm testing out POSITIVE thinking - or the "think" method - or the secret - or what Evan would call Christian Science - or what I would call faith trust and pixie dust. The job is already mine - nothing to worry about - just gotta get that phone call!:):):))

Right now - I'm enjoying some NICE peace and quiet - some MUCH needed - peace and quiet!

apt. hope!

Today I was waiting in the lobby of Megan Reinking's apartment when I saw a cute doggy. I asked the owner of the doggy if I could say hello and they said no - the dog is super shy and "quirky" and skittish around people and will just run away - at which point the dog came running to me and licked my hand. So much for shy skittish dog. They were shocked - but I thought to myseld - they don't know about my super amazing dog powers! I don't know why - but dogs tend to chase after me just as much as I chase after them. I'm not complaining. But THIS dog unwittingly led me to the man I've been searching for! NO! Not a PRINCE! The guy who is in charge of renting apartments in Reinkings building. Reinking had tried to get the man's information, the door man tried to find me the information, a BROKER tried to find me the information, but no luck. This dog, however, was attached to a young lady signing a lease for a June 1 apt. rental in the building - and the man she was meeting - was the apartment rental man. NO broker fee - just the man who works with the owner of the building to rent out the apartments. He said to call him next month and he will see what two bedroom opens up. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It would be SO WONDERFUL to get one of those apartments! It's affordable and acceptable quality in midtown . And just think - I could roll out of bed last minute - get an audition appointment - go back hom - warm up properly and get ready. Or get gross and sweaty in dance class - then go home and GET CLEAN! I could cook at home or my meals instead of having to get food to go all the time. I could kill time AT HOME instead of spending money or wandering the streets in whatever delightful weather New York is having. THERE IS LAUNDRY IN THE BUILDING! THERE IS A DOORMAN! WHO CAN ACCEPT PACKES! AND AN ELEVATOR!!! AND! THERE IS NOOOOOOOOOOO REGGAETON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All I need is a roommate - but its only slightly more expensive than a roommie would be spending for the shitty neighborhood I live in now - and its in MIDTOWN - everyone likes midtown! And my GREATEST hope is that German Michael will get transferred back here (apparently its a strong possibility) AND we can live together again - and housing happiness shall reign throughout the land in JULY! OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let this plan come to fruition!

And please give me my 7 brides job as well! THANK YOU!:):):)

magic - reveal yourself!

Sometimes all the hope and happy thoughts in the world just don't seem to be enough. They said they would let me know either way - but still no phone call. I am beginning to fear there will be no magic...I want magic. I am ready willing and able for the magic. PLEASE magic...please...or if this magic isn't my magic - please let the magic I'm suppose to have reveal itself soon.

it's a hard knock life!

Its hard being prettier smarter and more talented than your boss - especially when your boss knows it. It usually doesn't end well - until the prince comes and whisks you away to his castle. SO PRINCE! COME! WHISK ME AWAY! IM WAITING! (and prince - you dont have to be a MAN per se - you could be - oh I don't know A JOB!) THANK YOU!

carmen confirmation.

well - since the helpful CARMEN girl asked me to LIVE with her - we'll assume it is indeed NICE correcting not mean correcting. lol.

Also - this week I've been a show going fool- and I've fortunately had to pay for - ZERO of them!

BOOK OF MORMON, PEOPLE IN THE PICTURE, TOSCA, and WOSSECK! Good job me!

curel irony

For 45 awesome minutes this week I was employed as an actress...then...it cruelly ended. Well - and it didn't even end - cruelly...

I get to wait...and hope an equity boy books a more awesome job and doesnt take his contract.

Here is what happened.

The day after I got my equity I went to the equity audition for this theatre. I brought my equity card - filled out the equity paperwork - and was seen with the equity dancer and sung with the equity dancers who were called back. However, on my resume, I did not write AEA member. For one I did not know this was a requirement, in all of my audition workshops, voice lessons, and interaction with equity friends, no one told me it should be written on my resume. (to the best of my knowledge - based on talking to people - it isn't actually required - esp. since you fill out special equity paperwork AT each and every audition.) Secondly, I had about 20 old headshots and resumes stapled together from Straw Hat that I wanted to use - so I used on of those. Every regional theatre is REQUIRED to hire X amount of equity actors (it varies from theatre to theatre) and can fill up the rest of the cast with whoever they want - equity or non-equity. Almost always, the theatre chooses to cast the rest non-equity because you can pay them less. (The cruel irony here is NONEQUITY ISNT FREAKING SEEN SO HOW THEY GET CAST I WILL NEVER KNOW!) At this theatre - everyone is paid the SAME - the difference is that equity requires a certain amount of money every week to be places in a health care fund - and non-equity does not get this - and apparently this difference is big enough to make the producers not want to hire equity. So - for this show - they wanted to use all the equity contract on the BOYS and all the non-equity contracts on the GIRL - because boys who can actually sing and dance are harder to come by than girls - esp. non-equity ones. So - since AEA was not written on my resume - they assumed I was non-equity - and allotted a non-equity contract for me. Then - when they found out I was equity - they said they had already used up all their equity contracts on boys - but they would keep my spot "open" in case one of the boys can't do the show OR they can convince the producers to give them another equity contract. BLARGH. THIS IS CRUEL! Literally - the audition the day after I turn equity - I was seen because I WAS equity - but yet - cannot actually be hired because I am equity at them moment. GAHGAHGAHGAHGAHGAHGAH! I did NOTHING wrong. I did everything right! They messed up their paperwork - and now I am here - waiting yet again - for a magical phone call. I realllllly hope it's magical. I realllllllly want to work - I am ready willing and able! (more than willing!) and this is a great show - and this theatre is where ---- sigh- SIERRA did HER first summer stock! And - I've come SO close to getting this same show before!!!! LAST time I auditioned for this show it was for a theatre in Florida - and I danced - and the choreographer "cast me" (or put me in the "to cast" pile - I know the choreographer and he told me so.) - but the director and music director didn't hear me sing. I got a nice lecture about how I shouldnt be afraid to go to singer calls - and I pointed out that I was AT the singer call - but they only saw equity - and then they said - well - singers go to dance calls and they are brave - and dancers shoudl go to the singer call - I offered to sing for them right there and then - and the choreographer mentioned he had heard me sing and I was an excellent operatic soprano - but alas - no dice. OH PLEASE MAGICAL PHONE CALL! COME! LET some unsuspecting boy get cast in a Bway show so I can do a regional theatre show. Or let me get cast in a Broadway show to make up for the cruel evilness of giving me a job and then TAKING AWAY!!!!!! That is cruel world! Very very cruel!

Was typed out of the only audition this week...ironically choreographed by the ladies whose transcript I'm currently writing for Austin.

Kat Cara and I have begun to look for apts. As predicted - it is - for lack of a better word - a clusterfuck. We all want SUCH different things from an apartment and we can't collectively afford anything half way decent that would make it worth the stress and expense of moving in my opinion. We shall endeavour to persevere.

I don't think I'm the worst in Carmen anymore - which is a relief. I really don't like being the worst - but I also do feel like a special needs child. I know I have the potential to be every bit as good as the music school singers and those playing the leads - but I have to work 10 times as hard because I haven't studied the music, the rep, the score, the harmonies, how to READ the score and understand the harmonies, and how to SING pronounce French which is quite different than speaking French. (But I am VERY thankful it's in French and not German or Italian - I'd be DOOMED!) It is a great learning experience and I'm glad I have this opportunity. One of the soprano leads has been kind enough to kind of "coach" me through it. (I'm assuming its kind - it might be bitchy as well - but I'm going to pretend she is trying to help and not make me feel bad that I am mispronouncing everything...and even if she is being mean - it's still stuff I need to know - so I am thankful for it!)

Now to go dream of magical phone calls!

music

Just saw Tosca at the Met for the third time! (I think I've seen Tosca more than any other opera - and its one of the only operas I've also seen OUTSIDE of the Met...I love Tosca.)

I LOVE MUSIC! I LOVE SINGING! The more I learn about music the more I love it! These composers are so brilliant! They may - gasp - even be more brilliant than Shakespeare! The complex harmonies progression rhythms - and how they hide dangerous (for their time) poltical commentary in crazy love stories...the music reaches crevices of emotion that words cannot - it's just so astounding! I wish I could make the music as beautifully as the singers that I hear - and that I could even begin to comprehend it 10% as well as a composition student! I never understood why all these RSC director went gaga over Mozart operas and tried to get ENO gigs - I now understand. I LOVE YOU OPERA! Even if you are ridiculously difficult and frustrating and I barely know you - I think I love you.

Now - if I could only read this FREAKING CARMEN SCORE!

EEEEK!

Just discovered people in her Carmen cast sing with City Opera. Seriously people -when I say I'm the worst one - it is NOT false modesty! Oh - and they arent in the CHORUS at City Opera - they play supporting roles and cover leads. I have never been so incredibly horrified! So humbling!

To that same end - I am THERE. I auditioned - and I got in. With the City Opera people. Granted the City Opera people are playing - roles like - oh say - CARMEN...and I am safely tucked away in the chorus...but I'm still there. And by golly gosh - I am learning that music - plunking it out on note at a time - listening to the recording - and I never realized how much ridiculously awesome music is IN Carmen! I played it at STEPS tonight while cleaning - and USUALLY opera results in moans from everyone else who didnt bring their own music - but everyone was dancing along - rocking out to CARMEN! That Bizet knew what he was doing!

I FINALLY get a voice lesson Monday - MUCH NEEDED - then - no more for two months....:-( Mary goes to Italy - and Alex is on the Broadway - candace and JP I've given up on - it's all me! It will just be nice to make sure everything is in order after two weeks of pastries - then audition craziness this week. (MAGICAL PHONE CALLS! COME!!!!!)

So sore from dance - so sleepy from a very productive week!:)

Carmen

I am definitely being challenged in CARMEN. OMG. EVERYONE there is a REAL opera singer. We are talking - went to music school, does competitions, works in real companies, etc... And apparently they have all done CARMEN or excerpts from CARMEN before - and can all OBVIOUSLY sight sing (I have to remember I CAN read music - I CANT sightsing) so we are having lightening speed music rehearsals - which wouldnt be so bad EXCEPT - through an EXTREMELY bizarre series of events - I am the ONLY first soprano in the CHORUS. (The rest of the first sopranos alternate the role of Frasquita - so they sing a part HIGHER than the first soprano part - stupid opera and your 10 part harmonies.) Oh - and in these 10 part harmonies - NO ONE has the melody. The melody arises through a very complex interwoven conglomeration of notes arising from all ten parts AND the orchestrations. GAH! So - when we break down the chorus into vocal parts and the music director says "let's hear the first sopranos" - and you were just handed the music to an opera you have never heard or seen before - it is EXTREMELY embarassing. Er.....yeah....about that first soprano part --- can I hear it on the piano....oh - o.k. - wow - well - that the extremely fast sped up version of it and everyone else is bored and talking so I couldnt actually hear it - can I hear it again - no - oh o.k. - er..... yeah - that note looks high - I 'll just sing something and hope its right???? WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE SINGING MEZZO AND ALTO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I usually have to FIGHT for this first soprano gig! And I am not rising to the occasion since I can't BLOODY SIGHT SING! CANDACE! YOU NEED TO FREAKING STOP SHACKING UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND COME HOME AND EARN THE RENT YOU ARENT PAYING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLLLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

And extra work can you PLEASE call me in so I can make some money! Its tax season which means ---- evilness!

Or even better - can I get a MAGICAL phone call from somewhere please? THANK YOU! After CARMEN - I will be prepared for ANY harmonies you throw at me! lol!