COME BACK CALLBACKS!

Where have all my callbacks gone!? Over the summer I got so many! Where are they!? COME BACK! I MISS YOU!

The good news is I've seen a lot of really fabulous theatre over the past few weeks. Very inspiring theatre! And hopefully one day - one day VERY SOON! I'll be IN an inspiring piece of theatre myself!

Lent

Well it's Lent. I'm not very religious - I'm definitely not Catholic - but I do think I need to give up some things to be happy and productive.

1 - I MUST give up obsessively checking audition update.com - it just causes angst and sadness and instead of focusing on the work I can be doing now towards reaching my goals - it makes me obsess over things in the past that I can't change or alter. I need to audition and then FORGET about it - and not dwell. Dwelling makes me sad.

2 - I must stop trying to change the system to fit me - and make myself either fit the system or work around the system.

3- I must stop criticizing myself and others so much and be supportive and positive. It's not for me to judge who is good or bad or deserves success. All I can do is focus on ME and work on making ME the best ME possible!

4-I must stop denying that I am not a kid - and grow up. Work. Fill out paperwork. Make phone calls. etc...

Mary says this is the year of being tested - and I can either be beaten down and turn bitter and lose or rise to the challenge willingly and cheerfully - do the work - do the work well - and plant seeds for the future! SO! Here I can - preparing myself ready for the good fight - with positive thoughts, a smile, faith, trust, and pixie dust!

voicey things

It always feels good when you walk out of the audition room and a boy standing in line says: "How does THAT voice come out of THAT body?" and then stares in wonder as you walk away. (I'm ASSUMING here that of course - he pictured a big fat opera singer singing behind the door! lol. But who knows!)

It also feel nice to hear the casting director running the audition seminar say you have a really "present" voice that is a "true gift." Now --- if only I could do something about that acting........(I'm fine in SCENES - in the weird 16 bars cut in an empty room that I always have trouble with - but we're making progress! Always aiming to become better than before!)

things I have learned the past few weeks

These past few weeks have been incredible learning experiences for me. A lot of lessons learned "the hard way." Some the not so hard way I suppose. Some just don't make sense.

For example - the entire way unemployment works - which I would expound upon but it's probably not wise to in an on-line blog.

How equity contracts work. How the union works - or doesn't work.

How extremely qualified I am to do so many things that happen between the hours of 9a.m. and 5 p.m. - and yet for some ridiculous reason I choose to not do them because I have the cockananyed idea I should work in THEATRE - and would rather take crap jobs that don't pay anything than do something that has integrity and pays - while waiting for ALL the stars to align correctly for my next big job. I never knew I was so qualified. Sometimes I wonder if I'm idiot for not just doing it. I probably am an idiot.

That apparently no work gets done after 5 p.m.

Applying in person is way better than sending in a letter.

I learned that boys are INSANE! And sometimes - they stalk you - and think they are dating you - and accuse you of cheating on them - event though you went on ONE DATE three weeks ago with them - had not fun - and haven't spoken to them since. (OBVIOUSLY - the only reason I would not talk to them is because I am CHEATING on them in this fake relationship they've created!) I also learned that in their minds - NO means - ask again in five minutes - or NO means - she actually means yes. Which I find highly disturbing.

I've also learned how incredibly kind people can be - and helpful. And how mean and selfish and insecure they can be.

I've learned a lot about my strengths as a performer - and my "type" - and what makes casting directors excited. I've learned a LOT of new music. And how difficult it is to TRULY learn the new music - not MUSICALLY - but textually! For someone as obsessed with the text of Shakespeare as I am - I've done a pretty darn crappy job of textually analyzing the lyrics of my audition songs! The workshop I'm doing taught me that - and taught me that when I DO analyze and apply - I can be pretty darn special! HOW COULD I - OF ALL PEOPLE - IGNORE THE TEXT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I've learned how important physical activity is for me - pilates can fix a back spasm.

I've learned that I can actually teach an hour long pilates class successfully.

I've learned that shows you did three years ago and contacts you made then - really CAN come back and help you in the future.

I've learned you can't change how people behave - you can only change how you react and deal with it.

That talent and being an awesome person don't always go hand in hand - but sometimes they do - and that is a wonderful thing!

I'm horrible at being an adult and need to get better.

I have a severe dislike of morning people.

That I have some pretty darn wonderful friends.