I seek him here I seek him there!!!

Fix taxes - check

Discover Actors Access to SUBMIT MYSELF for roles - check

Discover Wagners Ring Cycle - check

Make brave attempt to learn how to read "chord tabs" to accompany myself when singing/learning music - check (attempt being the key words here.)

Two auditions - check

Clean Apartment almost singlehandedly so it looks pretty for Loralee's parents - check

Grocery shop for turkey day (and life - need something more than a block of cheese in the fridge - check

Much needed catch up time with good friends and being treated to a most delicious crabcake dinner - check

Set up official "opera" voice lesson with Pat Nixon - check

Listen to Slate's Political Gabfest and discover what's actually happening re: occupy wallstreet and Obamacare by reading and comparing different articles - check

It's been a very busy two days "off." Didn't manage to take dance class. Didn't manage to actually PRACTICE singing (unless you count warming up for an audition and then auditioning twice on the same day). Boo me. My neighbors I'm sure are thankful. Trying to distract myself from obsessive checking my e-mails - hoping for a miracle. Sigh. I guess I thought PM would write back and make the impossible happen. But I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. If it is even easy. Why does he constantly elude me! is he the Scarlet Pimpernel? I suppose so. That would make sense. That demned elusive pimpernel!

in review

Well - it's certainly been a big week. Excitingly stressful? I guess productive things I did were auditions and actually sending my letter to PM. Of course, now I'm panicking he'll never read it - or respond. Also - Mary's out of town for a while, so I found the lady who originated the role of Pat Nixon in Nixon in China (who is also our Eliza's voice teacher) and asked her for some lessons. This is also good because Mary is always telling me if I want to do OPERA - I have to find someone else. She only does musical theatre. Pat Nixon has obviously been very successful in opera AND ALSO been on Broadway numerous times. SHE SWITCHES! SUCCESSFULLY! So I thought it might be good to give her a try while Mary is away. Esp. since Mary and I decided I need to audition for the Met Opera Chorus. It's probably the most ridiculous goal ever - but EVERYONE - and I mean EVERYONE tells me I should try. I've scoffed it off as being the most quixotic idea anyone has ever had. Not only do you have to be AMAZING and know HOW TO READ MUSIC - and sing in Italian, French, German, Russian, English, Sanskrit, and who knows what else, you also have to basically wait for someone to die. It might be easier to become a Supreme Court Justice. Once you're in the Met Chorus - YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO LEAVE! $100000 a year starting contract. To sing at the freaking MET! I mean - you will hold onto that job with every sinew of your body. But - I finally figured - why not try? The WORST - the absolute WORST that can happen - is I can grow exponentially as a musician. That is never a bad thing. It will help me in whatever I do - musical theatre - opera - directing - dance - etc... (Though is just makes me detest reggaeton even more - now that I know what makes GOOD music - or am beginning to learn what makes GOOD music - I realize even more how HORRIBLE reggaeton is! LOL!) At any rate - point is - we'll see is Pat Nixon can whip me into shape where Mary can't while Mary is away.

I also am taking a course on GAME THEORY via iTunesU - as recommended by Matt. It's a surprisingly good and exciting course taught by a very passionate British professor.

The show has also been very dramatic. Aside from fat soprano evil - one of our guys needs hip surgery and is out of the show - he needs to be replaced. It's very sad - because he was actually nice and peppy. Another guy rolled his ankle and was out of the show tonight. Meaning our poor male swing had to do TWO tracks! Also - one of our girls fractured a metatarsal in her foot - and another one was hit by a car! But they are both still doing the show! The most amazing part about this is - it seems to have made every appreciate how much they love performing - and now instead of "opting out" - they are FIGHTING to perform - not the best circumstances for this - but and interesting phenomenon. I think they are able to stop trying to be "cool" and just let their quirky wonderful performance loving selves come out!

I also discovered Wagner. Or rather - the Ring Cycle - it's very cool. And stuck in my head!

things

Enriching activities of the day:

Saw "The agony and ecstasy of Steve Jobs" at the public theatre with Matt - followed by falafels and lively conversation about capitalism vs. communism.

Started reading John Adams (composer) autobiography.

Practiced piano scales and arpeggios.

Made a list of things I was to say to PM - which will obviously be whittled down - but hey - it's a start.

pleasantries.

Well - you gotta love going to your afternoon audition appointment, only to have a friend of your tell you that she spoke with the fat soprano from MFL that morning, who decided to badmouth me the entire time, not knowing who she was speaking to was my friend. Wow. Such DELIGHTFUL people. They actually have a count down as to how many shows until we are finished and never have to perform this production again. Ummmm....excuse me. Again. Am I missing something. Do we WANT to be unemployed? I'm so confused. Also, gotta love the boy who won't talk to except on stage about how angry he is about how I handled those damned pita chips, wanting my dad's help with a legal housing issue now. Um.....no. You don't get to be a total dick to me all week making me cry and have to leave the theatre and sit in a parking lot - then ask for my dad's help. Maybe you should think about that BEFORE you a dick. I'm sorry it will cost you $250 to have a lawyer send a letter on official letterhead. I'm sorry that when you went on as Doolittle you didn't have your lines memorized so they had to cut half of a scene. I'm sorry you are so miserable you can't let go of a stupid pita grudge. I'm sorry that despite being 30 you can't handle a situation better than a 6 year old. My hope for you if that you let go of whatever anger management issues you have - and can be happy. Also - it REALLLLLLLY isn't funny that at this point - everyone is singing in different keys - and none of them are the RIGHT key. It's really not funny. And when I suggest a music rehearsal, while you all are laughing about how much you suck, you probably shouldn't tell me I'm a horrible person. I care about my work - and want to make it good. Candace had the best come back which I should have said. "Well I'm sorry that you all suck." Loralee also suggested - "well then you better go home and learn your shit on your own."

But - that's besides the point of my life. I am so glad I am bitter and miserable with everything in my life. Perhaps I should be - I know in the past I have been. But now I am putting my foot down and refusing. I am a beautiful smart talented girl - and I am going to have an enriching experience - despite my cast's best efforts to stop it! They don't have to like me. They are welcome to sing off key and be miserable - but I will not.

I will be happy to perform every day and give the crowd a fabulous the best I can give on that day.

When I'm backstage - I won't talk to them, I will listen to my podcasts, learn music, or read my brand new book - John Adams' (composer) biography.

When I'm away from the theatre - I will hang out with my FRIENDS - who are awesome - and engage in activities with are productive and enriching - seeing shows/operas - taking classes - learning music - learning piano/music theory - putting together a Christmas caroling group - read the newspaper - watch the news - laugh as much as possible - audition - direct - perform - collaborate - be silly - and challenge myself constantly - the heights of great men were not reached by sudden flight, but while their companions slept toiled upward in the night.

I've been here before - and I know how to handle it. You can hate me for not buying into your negativity and not complaining about how horrible it is to have a job- and not trying to get someone fired for eating your pita chips - or getting the job your friend didn't - or for not thinking Herman Caine is the best option for president - or not believe Lady Jane is a character in Richard III - for not being content to sing off key and out of harmony - but I will be o.k. And if I'm lucky - I'll be more than o.k. I'll be happy healthy and successful - grow as a person and as an artist.

And I'm learning from you. I'm learning what I value in my friends and in myself. I'm learning how lucky I have been to work with people who love theatre up to this point - and have taught me in the importance of a true collaborative project - and how to be proud of your part whether you are Eliza or chorus girl #5. I feel lucky for doing shows at VLOG and AMORE so now that I am PAID and actually given costumes I dont have to provide myself - or a set I didnt have to help build - I don't take it for granted. I'm happy I can appreciate a good production and good creative team - so I can appreciate a good show when I'm in one. I'm grateful for all the blah internships I did so I can appreciate what the techies do for us. I'm grateful I didn't go to school for theatre - so I actually have a brain. I'm grateful I found Mary - who is a wonderful voice teacher and acting coach - and also taught me how to handle the fragile egos of other performers - and understand that when they are mean to me - it has more to do with their own insecurities than anything I am actually doing.

And I'm grateful that for four perfect hours today - the world was perfect. I was watching Satyragraha - with one of my best friends - dead center orchestra - PM just accepted my facebook friend request - and the world disappeared into a beautiful meditation about the "athletes of the spirit" who hold pleasre and pain, profit and loss, victory and defeat to be the same, then brace yourself ready for the fight. And isn't that all we can do -brace ourselves for the fight - whatever our fights may be - and mine is not let the negativity bring me down - and they won't.

Guten Nacht.

Also...

For the record - one of the techies was kinda moping about thinking the same things I was - so I showed him PM's blog - and he also was inspired! (And he is not a let's go see weird experimental theatre kinda guy. IT's just - the ideas in the blog are THAT awesome!)

banishing the pita chips

I'm still just confused. I'm obviously not getting something. Maybe I'm too stupid. Maybe I"m too inexperienced. But I don't hate my job. I don't wake up dreading performing. I don't want to "opt out" of numbers. I'm not THRILLED that in two weeks I'll not have to perform for a month. I don't count down the minutes during a show and when I'm finished breathe a sigh of relief because I'm done and can now go decorate my apartment. I have very little desire in getting anyone kicked out of equity or getting a stage manager or two fired. I don't count the seconds until I can get out of my costume and head home. I'm not super psyched we have no more understudy rehearsals. (Ummm - what happens if we have to go on and haven't rehearsed for two months? Even the RSC and Bway rehearses understudies at least once a week!!!!!!!!!! Usually twice!!!)And I really don't care THAT much about pita chips. ARGHHHHHHH! I'm going to go CRAZY!!!!!! CRAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How on earth have these people managed to make a great job into a living hell? I'm SO confused. And why would you WANT to do that? Why! When the universe gives you a gift like a performing job - why not be happy?

But - that's exactly it - why not be happy - so that's the last I'm going to say about that. Instead - I'm going to talk about all the COOL thingsI did today.

I listened to Slate's policial gabfest - which was MOST amusing this week - as we've have a rather hysterical group GOP hopefuls in the media. Perry and Cain are both every comedian's dream - but they make even a regular newscast seem like SNL! I also listened to the "culture" gabfest - which analyzed how hollywood seems to make us think there is something inherently wrong with us if we don't get our happy endings. I think this is true - but in my hippie dippie mode that I'm in right now - I'm also thinking happy endings are all in the eye of the beholder. I know some people who the 99% would say should be OVER THE MOON with happiness - but they aren't because they don't have a baby - or haven't won an oscar - or don't have a boyfriend - or have only starred in 5 Broadway shows instead of 6 - or because the critics panned their latest work - never mind their 3 Tony awards and numerous past accomplishments. And some people - who are in a wheelchair and find joy in every moment in life - and say things such as, "I'm glad I broke my neck. If I never broke my neck I wouldn't have met such amazing people, gotten into directing, or discovered stand-up comedy." So - girl on her fifth Broadway show and featured role on an HBO show SHOULD by all reasonable accounts have the happy ending - but the happier one is the girl in a wheelchair. Ultimately - we are responsible for our own experiences - and happy endings are in the eye of the beholder. Granted - I PRAY I'll never go through something as traumatic as a life altering injury - and would MUCH rather be the girl on her fifth Broadway show. I think ultimately it comes down to how Michelle Kwan ended her autobiography. We all have good and bad in lives, and if we're lucky, we'll have more good than bad. It we're REALLY lucky, we'll know it. (Therefore - cultural gabfest people - I think we all ultimately write and put our own spin on our own fairytales.) I'm going to do my darndest to make mine a happy one.

I also listened to Capitol Steps - a musical political satire show - on the bus up to Tarrytown. It only comes out on holidays - so I was a bit late listening to the Halloween episode. No matter - it still literally made me laugh out loud. Esp. the BOOK OF MORMON/GOP candidates parody.

I cleaned my apt. Which was MUCH needed.

I worked on my piano chord inversions - which scare me.

I worked on the new opera aria I'm learning - Ah, non credea Mirarti. It's in Italian - which makes it scary.

I took (much much much needed) pilates and had a much needed catch-up session with Cara over some delicious soup!

I found my long lost friend Sara's blog - which is actually rather amazing! She made homemmade poptarts and documented it! I may have to try this myself. Her commentary on the experience was hysterical. She also posted a rather long entry about whales - which I found extremely funny, witty, and educational! I'm going to cut and paste a bit - but before I go - I'd just like to point out - one of these whales is estimated to have been 211 at the time of its death - which meant it saw Thomas Jefferson AND Bill Clinton as President - that is - if it ever ventured to DC - which I doubt it did. Still - it's very crazy to think about!

Sara’s entirely bias Bowhead Profile:

• These giants live in the arctic, those scratches are from crashing into ice sheets to make blowholes.
• Bowheads live alone under the frozen expanse, solitary and peaceful for most of their adult life.
• They are notoriously skittish. A wave-slap against a boat’s prow a quarter-mile away is enough to send them trundling to the deep.
• Recent research indicates they may be some of the oldest creatures on the planet. Estimates surmise they are over 200 years old.

Possibly the oldest creatures – how cool! How mysterious! It explains rather a lot of their anti-human behaviour in my mind too.

After all, it wasn’t that long ago whaling was an exotic imperialist hobby and dastardly big business (though some would say it still is when there are stories like this in the world).

Leaving the politics to one side however, I found an article about a bowhead carcass found in 2001 which had old, ivory harpoon heads lodged in its skin.

[Totally pointless footnote, how do you post 48 frozen whale eyeballs? How big of a box is that and what do you put on the customs declaration? These are the things that keep me up at night.]

If the harpoon heads and eyeball dissection prove they are that old, it’s hard to imagine what all they have witnessed in 200 years. Reminds me of Darwin’s tortoise.

Now, in Saraland, a little imaginative history says a sow of 200 could easily have witnessed the harpooning of family members in Victorian expeditions. Quite likely she would have been chased herself at least a few times in the remaining centuries. Their trepidation regarding ships and humans in that context is more than understandable. I’d be pretty freakin’ skittish too.

Yes, it’s anthropomorphizing a bit, but I’m not totally crazy. I may love me some whales and invent little histories, but it’s not like I’ve named them [or have an uncontrollable urge to put a tiny sweater on them. ahem. crazy pet people. *shudder*]

It also feels like the seeds of a Disney movie: some Bambi-esque tale of survival and distrust.

Of course in modern-day ultra-PC Disney world, the orphaned baby bowhead would make friends with some Inuit child.

They’d probably have a swimming montage, and a reggae duet.

Fin-tacular high-fives aside, it does make me wonder. After a hundred years of being hunted, how long would it take you to trust humans in the water? It may be generations to us, but the world is a different place under the Arctic seas, where centuries stretch to the frozen horizon.

OH! One more thing before I go - as I entered my apt. building - a lady walked in carrying a Met program. I asked her what she saw and she said SATYAGRAHA. (Insert my reaction here.) She said "Oh so you're into opera." Me: Yes. Satyagraha is my FAAAAAVORITE. Her: It's very powerful - it took me a bit to get into it but once I did - it's just fabulous. (she disappeared behind one of the fire doors as I waited for the elevator - SQUEEEEEEELING that someone in my building LISTENS TO SATYAGRAHA AND LIKES IT! WAIJIADUHAWUIDHAWUDHAWUYDHA~ EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

orca whales

The universe, I have found, gives us little gifts along the way to help get us through the bad and frustrating days. (That almost rhymes.) Today, I ran into two of my WIW friends on my way to an audition, and it was so wonderful to just have positive happy productive conversations with them.

Yesterday, the gift was PM's (those are someone's intitials) blog. It was a particularly yucky day at work, but fortunately I had brought my computer. I found this very strange blog. I don't understand most of it. It's doodle, drawing, crazy quotes, prompts, and philosophies that are even more rounds about than my own way of thinking! He is truly theatre' s mad scientist! Perhaps life's mad scientist. But totally inspirational - at all times! (at least in his blog.)

He seems to truly experience life - and celebrate all of life's eccentricities and beauties - and totally believes that you are responsible for your own experiences. He lives by the "two feet" rule - which is - if you are in a place where you are not learning or contributing - you have two feet - walk away. (He later had an entry about how this is not a politically correct rule - as some people don't have two feet - and some people are in wheelchairs, so he changed it to the rule of mobility.) At any rate - it got me thinking- that I can definitely be having a much more fulfilling experience in life than I am at the moment.

Since MFL started - I spend most of my days with 20 year old girls who want NOTHING more in life than to get married - and spend all of their time planning their yet to be had weddings - or their friends weddings. Or complaining about how horrible it is to be in a show instead of planning a wedding. So what's a girl to do who - doesn't have a wedding to plan for herself OR any of her friends. Not even a bridesmaid outfit to pick out.

Well for starters, there is a band room. The band and I get along, and they let me use their band room. I started taking piano lessons so I can become a better musician, and hopefully learn to sigh sing by understanding how notes relate to one another, but have had trouble finding time to practice. Well - on our breaks - I can go and use the piano and practice - and the "reed" player has been kind enough to come and correct me and make sure my "homework" is correct.

PM seems to constantly be inspired by quotes or prompts. He'll find a quote - and use it as a prompt - and then write about why this quote speaks to him. I really enjoy this idea. It just helps you organize your thoughts. (And heck - might help me write a letter or a tweet to him one day.) For example - I know I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Satyagraha - but I have a hard time concisely and rationally explaining why. It just seems like a good communication skill. So I might work on that. I know I also crave some sort of conversation about politics or media or new or social events - so it might be good to just have these conversations with me myself - if no one else wants to have them with me.

I am in NYC - so I have the capability to take classes. I ALMOST signed up for an improv class, but one of my WIW friends told what I should REALLLLLY be doing is taking actors access classes, because you get to work with and show your work to agents and casting directors -which will actually help you get jobs. So I am definitely going to sign up for one of those!

I've also fallen slack on actually practicing my singing and warming up every day. I need to do that! I know I can sing everything in MFL without warming up - but I owe it to myself and my instrument to warm up and challenge it. And find time to work on those arias. And learn the music to chorales I might actually get to one day sing in and be paid for. (Beethovens 9th - The Messiah - Mahler's 4th - Carmina Burana, etc...) The MFL band told me about community chorale societies that I can at least use as a learning tool until I figure out how to get paid. (This isnt a TOO distant possibility - as I have an opera friend who said she will get me an appointment with her agent who books her these jobs at LINCOLN CENTER to sing with the NY Philharmonic - BUT - the agent audition consists of singing an aria and SIGHT SINGING - so I have to be somewhat more proficient at that first. Hence the piano/music theory lessons.) And just learning music is such a wonderful experience. And hopefully I can meet some wonderful intelligent people!

And of course - I have my wonderful podcasts and iTunesU! I found several music theory courses on iTunesU - yay free music lessons! I also found a new favorite political podcast to keep up with current events - Slate's Political Gabfest. It's wonderful. Interesting, entertaining, has a left, right, and center representative. Definitely a winner in my book.

I also called up my old friend Matt - because he's smart - and interesting - and curious - and NOT in theatre. I thought I needed some friends outside of theatre/opera - so we are hanging out next week.

At any rate - I don't know if this entry makes any sense - I'm insanely tired - and a mix of incredibly inspired - and ready to walk away if I hear one more thing about stolen pita chips. And I'm watching Orca Whales swim to Gregorian Monk chants on classic arts showcase - methinks it is time to go to bed!

things I'd like to tell me cast part deux

Some more things I would like to tell my cast:

If you have an issue with something you should address it directly. Don't talk about it for days/weeks behind someones back letting the anger fester. It is totally counterproductive to everything!

If you dislike the way Pickering drives the van to and from Westchester - offer to drive it yourself. We are supposed to rotate drivers - but since no one else wants to drive - Pickering sucks it up and does it himself.

If you don't like someone entering your dressing room - tell the person entering your dressing room.

Read the equity rule book before spazzing about equity rules.

Just because the stage manager doesn't do everything you request - doesn't mean the stage manager isn't doing their job. The stage manager isn't there to give you a massage. The stage manager is there to make sure everyone and everything gets on stage and can be seen and heard.

If someone steals your food, talk to them about it.

If you do decide to talk to someone about an issue - whatever you do - do not do it passive aggressively on stage. Esp. if you are older than I am. Grow up.

Just because someone forgets a line - does not mean they are senile and incompetent at life. It means they forgot a line.

Speaking of which - why is it o.k. for Rick Perry in your opinion to have his campaign brain fart - and you respond by saying "poor guy" but an actor forgets a line and they basically no longer deserve to live.

Hermain Caine is NOT the best of all the evils. Uzbekibekibekistanstan is not a country. And really 9% federal tax on top of a 8.7% state tax on everything. You think that's o.k. All of you "we don't get paid enough and can't afford to eat out - so we sit inside during our four hour breaks and eat blocks of cheese?"

I do understand how great Satyagraha is. Well - maybe I never will - but I'm pretty sure I grasp it at least as well as you do.

Will you please fire your agent already who doesn't get you audition appointments, never mind WORK, but spends lots of time telling you how fat, ugly, and untalented you are. I want to punch you every time you whine about it.

I'm fairly certain the Rockettes don't suck. I've seen the show twice - neither time did it make me speechless with how ghastly it was.

If we have a talk back with a bunch of high school students - you should try to keep the answers positive. "I hate all of them" is not realllllly an appropriate answer to "What is your favorite song to sing in the show." "We have to whistle backstage ugh" not really the BEST answer to "are the sound effects live or pre-recorded." "We have to change wigs so many times and it's really annoying" is not the answer I would have chosen for what's the most challenging aspect of the show - but oh well - you never handed me the mic.

I mean - I guess it's cool you suspect your foot is broken, but you want to dance through the pain - I guess that means you're dedicated or heroic or something...??? Stupid???? I mean --- maybe I'd do the same thing - hard to tell...

It's not really cool to set "traps" for the food thief. That kinda feels a little mean to me.

That tech guy who drives you and from Tarrytown to get your pumpkin spice latte - learn his name.

Please remember theatre is supposed to be enjoyable. TRY to have a LITTLE fun while here. Just a little. That's all I ask.

Say hello to the band. They're cool!:)

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

I LOVE YOU SATYAGRAHA!

I saw Satyagraha again tonight - it was even BETTER than I remembered it - if that was possible. And viewing it as a MUSICIAN this time - made the experience completely different. That music is HARD! And the singers NEVER leave the stage! No getting a sip of water - blowing your nose - coughing - clearing your throat - warming up/trilling - just go! Wow. The music is so gorgeous. The direction is so impeccable! And I saw so many more layers than I did before! Maybe its age and wisdom - maybe it's now having been IN an opera - maybe it's experience - I don't know - but today it was so much more glorious! I feel so ALIVE having seen it! Like my life blood has been revived! At the end Phillip Glass walked onto the stage and my friend who was with me and I were screaming and whooping and hollering like 12 year olds at a Justin Beiber concert. It was amazing! Just gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! I am so thankful for moments like that - and days like today!:)

funny things

Today was a very funny day - almost the opposite of yesterday - and I loved my cast! But I'm much much much too tired to type out the funny - and it wouldn't come out as well in the typed blogosphere as in real life anyhow. Just know - it was funny.

Things I would like to tell my cast

Alright cast - some things I would like to say to you:

No - I didn't wake up this morning dreading a two show day. I woke up this morning VERY EXCITED TO PERFORM IN TWO SHOWS!

If you want to talk about what a horrible actor Kenneth Branagh is - you should probably do it while I'm not in the room.

The same goes for Andrew Lloyd Webber's composing. And then - don't tell me I'm lying when I said I worked with him on WIW. I'm not going to defend myself - it's pointless - you'll believe what you want to believe.

If you don't know who Rovert is - you really need to do your research.

There is no Lady Jane in Richard III.

It is stupid to mark understudy rehearsals. We are lucky to have them. Don't half ass it.

I'm not thrilled we are done with understudy rehearsals for the rest of the run. If I'm thrown on Jan. 29th - I would like to have had a rehearsal in the past 3 months.

On Broadway - understudies do NOT rehearse with costumes and props. Trust me. I ran the rehearsals. And - no WIW was not an anomaly. My best friend it on her 4th Bway show - understudying every time - and never even got to practice with the "baby bump" she had to wear in HAIR- must less costumes and props and the FULL CAST there - only understudies.

There is more to life than being angry your friend/acquaintance just booked a Broadway show while you are "stuck" in Westchester. If you are going to be like that - you're in for a VERY VERY VERY long ride. You are working on a contract that runs longer than most Broadway shows. Be happy for yourself. Be happy for your friend. Work hard.

You can get hired without an agent. So if you have an agent who calls you fat, ugly, untalented, pompous, etc... you should get rid of that agent instead of giving them your paycheck.

I really want to punch all of your as you sift through bridal magazines. Yes I know you are all (ALLLL - I mean - EVERY PERSON BUT ME IN THE CAST) in LOOOOOOOOOVE, engaged, or married, but I really want to barf - and shoot myself - or cry - as we plan weddings, reception, and look for baby cradles, and plan our yet to exist babies third birthday parties. I know I am old and bitter because no prince - or even close to a prince has come to whisk me off my feet - or even walk next to me - forget the whisking - but twelve hours a day of wedding planning and knitting baby blankets is SOOO INANE!

Please learn to spell. Though it does make it easier for me to win when playing bananagrams!:)

Don't be mean to the crew.

Learn the crew's names.

Say hi to the band/orchestra. They are cool people.

Other soprano lady - I do not know what is eating you - but you can really stop doing everything in your power to make me feel like shit. And really - when I walk into the green room to heat up my frozen meal dinner - you don't have to tell me all of my qualities that you don't think are good qualities to have. Who does that?

It's always a bad idea to tell the stage manager they don't know what they are doing...

You all wonder why you are so tired - well - if you TURNED THE LIGHTS ON in the dressing room - the LIGHT might help you stay awake...just saying...

Dogs just are better than cats. I'm sorry. I'm right. You're wrong here. And if you wave a kitty in front of my face - you will not get my oooohhhhing ahhhhhing and roo-ing - no matter how hard you try. Same goes with babies.

It's realllllly weird to walk into someone's dressing room just to sniff their nutella...then steal a handful of crackers and leave. It's just odd!

It's also odd to moon people right before they walk on the stage.

I am soooo happy to have a job - a great fun EQUITY performing job - but I realllllly miss my friends...it's nice to feel loved...and definitely excited to see SATYAGRAHA with my AMORE friends on TUESDAY! It will be a very very happy day!:)

what I've been up to

Well - it's been a pretty crazy few weeks. I went on for the role I understudy in MFL, I found a dead mouse in my radiator, I've come VERY close to getting hired for jobs AFTER MFL ends - but so far no cigar - sad face - that will change - I've started taking piano lessons to try and become a better musician, Loralee had her birthday, there was Halloween (My costume was retweeted as an awesome opera costume by the Met!), I am a finalist in a corgi haiku contest (which I'm oddly serious about - I thin it's because I have a LITTLE control over the voting - unlike auditions - where you have very little control over the final voting by the creative team), I made my first trip to the Met this season, I made some awesome NON-theatre friends, I've acquired TWO stalkers (One of whom write me mystery poems trying to make me guess who he is ---- I'm scared....), I've given love advice to MANY people (WHY do they come to me? I'm a love failure!), I made chocolate pomegranate cookies, learned how to make drums out of giant Californian gourds, played in the snow, seen a very bad movie about Shakespeare - or more specificaly - about NOT Shakespeare, cried, and laughed a lot. October - you were a very full month. I hope November is equally if not even more awesome.