FEBRUARY!

I've decided to turn Chinese and have my new year start with the year of the water rabbit - and not January 1 - since my actual New Years sucked. And January is over. It's now FEBRUARY and going to be AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!

I have also been really amazed by how many people have come up to me and stated their SHOCK that I was not called back for Julie. INCLUDED in these people are the accompanist, the PRODUCER (who was not in the room for my audition), and - well - fat conductor man. The accompanist went off on a big long tangent about how the music director is horrible and - Ill spare you the details - but it was shocking. And I'm being taken out to three "we are sorry the music director sucks" dinners this week! I'm impressed. And feeling better - more - MOJO-y. Though - I do wish everyone would stop freaking telling me that I would have been CARRIE if I had let them cast me. STUPID CARRIE.

Also - Figure Skating Nationals were this weekend. Nothing says stop eating that bag of chocolate and get to work than figure skating. NOT because they are all paragons of physical fitness - but because - well - let's look at Ryan who WON mens. Its his 11th trip to Nationals. He just missed the Olympic team last year after coming in 10th or something the short program. But he came back this year and WON! And the ladies champion was tenth last year - and this year won not only nationals but the grandprix finals! The standings are always changing, the skaters are always working, constantly falling down, picking themselves back up, and going right back into that triple lutz. Yes - figure skaters are awesome.

I saw NIXON IN CHINA this morning - I won free tickets to the open dress rehearsals. Definitely an experience. I don't NOTHING about Chairman Mao - and need to read up before I see it again on the 19th and meet the COMPOSER!

Reinking introduced me to a writing/composing team who is interested in writing a musical about an idea I had four years ago! I forgot about it - but she didn't - and told them about it - they got all excited - and might actually write it...huh...interesting. I guess I'd be a director again for that...

I also will be taking a FREE improv class! WAHOOOO!

ANd - the guy who play Motel in Fiddler on the Roof informed me of a theatre that is doing CAROUSEL, JEKYLL AND HYDE, ANNIE, KING AND I, and a Patsy Cline musical. I don't know about Patsy Cline - but other than that - seems like a great season for me! WAY TO GO MOTEL!

I also had another freak out at my landlord this morning - showing him the videos of this weekend, completley with time stamps and decibels readings. Hopefully - it will help for a little while. GAH! CAn't wait till I figure out the moving situation!

FEBRUARY! BE AWESOME!:)

computer

I keep hoping something amazing is going to happen - and for some reason I think it's going to happen (Or more precisely I will find out about it) on my computer. Strange...

Waiting for Wonderful

Not gonna lie - 2011 is getting off to a VERY rough start. I'm hoping January is like that awful dress rehearsal before a wonderful performance - otherwise - I better fasten my seatbelt - I'm in a for a bumpy year.

I didn't even get a call-back for CAROUSEL - which is o.k. - I didn't even cry - obviously disappointed - but more confused. I honestly felt it was my strongest audition - ever. So what went wrong? It's good because I think I need to move away from VLOG and onto things that pay - things that are more professional - and all that jazz - but I need to figure out what to do to get there.

I also, sadly, think I need to find a new voice teacher. Mary has had a tough few months, but my past few lessons she has just seemed so disoriented. But more than that - I don't want to say I outgrew her - because she IS fabulous - but I think a different part of my voice needs fine tuning. She works very specific bits of my voice (as will any teacher) - but other bits get neglected (as with any teacher) - and I need to make the neglected bits catch up! And then maybe go BACK to Mary. I'm exploring.

I signed up for a FREE improv acting class - which comes HIGHLy recommended by several people. We shall see how that goes!:)

Things just feel - off-kilter. I don't know how to make everything line up again. Or line up - better. I think the problem is - I'm growing a lot. (I hope the RIGHT way.) Candace is teaching me SOOOO much about music - I mean - I CAN READ A SCORE NOW! I am far from being able to sight-sing, but I can play my own part on the piano, figure out what I'm doing incorrectly, fix it, and make intelligent musical choices. And we actually - DO the things we say we are going to do. I've also been hanging out with Reinking a lot - which is really interesting. Somehow at the moment - we kind of need each other - and can push each other, have really great conversation about everything from acting and singing to space probes and the state of the union. And Cara --- we've been talking a lot at night - and I feel we can really share great ideas, thoughts, things we learned, how to best cope with situations.

What's strange though is -I feel like if I'm growing emotionally, talent-wise, and intellectually, why is everything so - OFF? I'm hoping its that awkward teenager phase before turning into a beautiful adult - and not growing in the wrong direction. I'm ready for my WONDERFUL to happen now. I'm ready, I'm willing, I'm able. WONDERFUL! ARRIVE!:)

Tosca

Got to see the Met's new production of TOSCA tonight - it was AWESOME! Well done to all the performers, the director, AND ESPECIALLY THE MUSIC DIRECTOR! WOW!

Go easy on the Princesses

oh MSNB and NYTimes and Lady who wrote CINDERELLA ATE MY DAUGHTER...You need to get something VERY VERY VERY clear...

DISNEY PRINCESSES are not SEXY! Disney Princesses do not make your daughters watch keeping up with the Kardashians, want Bonnie Bell Lipsmackers, and to be "sexy." In fact - not a SINGLE Disney Princess is EVER seen putting ON make-up, shopping, caring about what she looks like. Even Cinderella just "magically" gets transformed - and she doesn't spend a single penny to do it. All of the princesses are odd-balls (who happen to be extremely pretty) - but they DONT fit in, are always incredibly kind to everyone, want to be independent (whether its of the evil stepmother - the palace walls - society - the ocean) and stand up for what they believe in! Some of them even - gasp - READ BOOKS! And have TALENTS - they - PRACTICE their VOICE for example....the introduce other people to the King Arthur Stories, they make a pie, they encourage their father to change unfair marriage laws, get their entire TRIBES to accept people who are completely different and work together to build a peaceful society, encourage nature conservation, I mean - princesses are AWESOME! And - LADY WHO WROTE CINDERELLA ATE MY DAUGHTER - Lindsay Lohan is NOT - I repeat NOT a Disney Princess! I have NO desire to even see a picture of Lindsay much less emulate anything to represents! Lady psychologist - You are AWESOME - are you are right - good parents make good children - not Disney Princesses or Miley Cyrus. Yes - discuss that you don't apples from strangers and that you arent supposed to dress less the Kardashians. Take a little responsibility - and for Pete's sake - GO EASY ON THE PRINCESSES! To be perfectly honest - THEY are the best role out there. (They are FICTIONAL - so they CAN be perfect.)

Half steps - grrrr

Sometimes you feel completely awesome and prepared because you practice a song virtual every day of your life - and have for the past two years - you practice by singing along to the recording - which seem fabulous - until your piano playing roommate points out the recording is half a step LOWER than the score AND all of the piano music you have. AWESOME.

It is also incredibly cruel to give me a piano accompanist in ballet class who plays all Rogers and Hammerstein and expect me to pay attention to BALLET and not LEAP OUT and start singing all of CAROUSEL or OKLAHOMA or STATE FAIR in the middle of class. (Carousel....meeeeeeeeeehhhhh...I didn't care - but now that they are taking so long - I DO. Stupid brain. No enemy can do as much damage as your own uncontrolled thoughts!)

I also stoof up for myself yesterday. Long story - but essentially this guy who I havent spoken to in three years just assumed I would be his dramaturg/assistant director and wrote me an e-e-mail - the first time we've communicated in 3 years - saying: Look for images, stories, art, media that in any way sheds light on relationships severed by America's involvement with war!! The ones left to remain trying to fill the void of those who have served!

Go!

I wrote to him a very nice letter asking for more information and what my PAY WOULD BE! (NO FREE WORK! even Austin pays me! )

Also - eHarmony sucks. Biggest waist of money EVER! Honestly - the BEST You can do is an overweight bald 40 year old, a man in the marines (I'm an idealistic pacifist. No army men for me!), and a guy with two kids? REALLLLLY? If I'm spending money - you gotta get a LITTLE closer to Prince William than that....

Things that made me happy this week.

Neil Degrasse Tyson - and all of his genius on t.v., itunes, the radio, the internet, youtube.

Learning a new song (maybe I like it this way.)

My CAROUSEL audition - no matter what the outcome.

Seeing my friend Suzannah who I havent seen in a year at the CAROUSEL audition.

My voice lesson with Alex.

AWESOME conversation with an awesome guy (who may or may not be gay...we are trying to figure that out) at Dana's birthday party tonight.

Grom ice-cream - as always.

Moments of silence - when I get them.

Candance introducing me to Sibelius' Violin Concert.

Discovering the genius of Kurt Weill.

The cookie I bought from City Bakery.

Late night conversations, discoveries, and youtube videos shared with Cara.

Acting lesson and lunch with Reinking. (The only GOOD acting teacher I've found here in the city! LOL! and the cheapest!)

Corgi blogs.

Joe becoming the all time most viewed entry on my blog OVERNIGHT!

The possibility that I will get to see NIXON IN CHINA for free. (Actual outcome still pending!)

THE EVIL! THE EVIL!

It's true - I don't TECHNICALLY need to be up until 1 p.m. tomorrow. So of course I can do to bed at 7 a.m. and be fine. Right?

NO! BECAUSE when I need to go to bed at a NORMAL HOUR I can't because I freaking woke up at 1 pm - so then I can't wake up for anything - and end up sleeping in - and then can't go to bed and the cycle continues.

This is not because IIIIIII WANT TO BE AWAKE!

It's because I have the most fucking inconsiderate neighbors on the entire planet! And to make matter worse - now that the weather is disgusting - in additions their their AWFUL BLASTING MUSIC which is the BANE OF MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE - and I want nothing more than to violently throw their speakers against the wall so they smash into smithereens - and to outlaw reggaeton form the planet for all time - now they have started SMOKING in the hall too! Just standing outside of my door - their door - everyone's door - smoking - whatever they freaking want to smoke. Cigarettes. Cigars. Pot. And - for some COMPLETLEY unknown reason - cracking raw eggs on the stairwell. Why on EARTH would ANYONE do this to their own apt. is BEYOND me. I saw a condom. Of course there is always popeyes fried chicken or uber disgusting greasy chinese food. And people leave their freaking trash in front of my apt. because its near the elevator. I know it's cold - but my doorstep is not a trash depository - even it snext to the elevator. Even if the super comes to pick it up the next morning - I dont want your stinky trash - your smoke - your food - and LEAST OF ALL YOUR RIDICULOUSLY AWFUL MUSIC! The musicians who came before reggaeton are CRYING that all of their hard work resulted in THIS! Played so loudly - even the BEST music couldn't be appreciated. Really - there is no need for me to be hearing 81 decibels of noise from ANOTHER apt. in my living room at 3:34 a.m. I don't come into YOUR living room and sing opera. And I don't sing it at freaking 3:34 a.m. Don't you inflict your awful music on me!

Oh - and it's NOT cool to call yourselves "niggers." I mean - the word is not a cool word. EVER. I don't care what the color of your skin is - you do not refer to yourself or anyone else as a "nigger" or "nigga." It is disrespectful. I certainly don't want to be hearing the word shouting repeatedly when I should be sleeping. Respect yourself enough to not call yourself a derogatory word.

And what's with the gathering in the hallways? Why don't you gather IN an apt.? The rent is high enough you should at least enjoy having an actual APARTMENT.

And powers that be - you should be ashamed - because "you're in the heights" isn't an excuse to disregard all the rules. It is really an insult to your profession and what you stand for to say that. You sit hidden in speed traps trying to catch people for "tickets" to meet your quota - but you turn a completely blind eye to people who break noise, health, and drug violations? A homeless man can poop on the subway platform and you don't notice. You don't even try to get him help. you just turn away and ignore it. If I pooped - I would be ticketed and possibly worse for indecent exposure. You ticket me for going between subway cars - which techncially isn't even illegal - you just deemed it "unsafe riding" but let homeless guys - who are sickly and far more likely to fall off onto the tracks - do what ever they want. If I walked out of the dance studio, opened a can of Budweiser and lit up a joint, I'd be arrested. Here - it's part of the "culture." Really? Open your eyes! You can do GOOD! HELP THE PROBLEM! Dont' IGNORE IT! As one of your potential constituents - as someone who pays taxes to the state - I am BEGGING YOU to listen to me.

In fact - I might just write you a more eloquently written letter than this blog entry - on the off chance you will read it - and act upon it.

If I can ever SLEEP and get enough rest to be functional during the day!

BTW - powers that be - I have ALL of last weekends noisy activities ON VIDEO - with time stamps from my computer, cablebox, t.v. AND TWO DIFFERENT DECIBEL METERS! So Don't tell me on your status update report the police came and saw no evidence of illegal activity. I HAVE IT ON FREAKING VIDEO! I even went outside - saw the SOURCE - came back INSIDE - so you could hear it IN THE LIVING ROOM with the windows closed! I feel like I"m living in some bizarre parallel dimension.

CAROUSEL audition

Well...not matter what the outcome...I am incredibly proud of myself.

I auditioned for CAROUSEL and put forth my best case for the role. I have a friend Al (short for Alexandra) who played Julie on West End in London and won many an award for her portrayal and then REPRISED the role for which she was nominated for an OVATION award in L.A. and has received much critical acclaim for her "unique" Julie Jordan. I asked her what songs would be appropriate and she suggested MAYBE I LIKE IT THIS WAY from Andrew Lippa's THE WILD PARTY. Really? I thought. The song is usually a super belt song, it is definitely LOW, and is sung by a cracked out showgirl attracted to "sleaze and kink" - who throws a party that turns into an orgy with her lover dead at the end. Oh yes - that sounds EXACTLY like Julie! Julie - for the record is described in one casting description: Julie Jordan (Soprano, 16 - 28) Mill girl. Young, shy. A modest but passionate innocent who has no capacity for girlish wiles or feminine artifice. Well - those characters sounds JUST like twins! Anyhow - I listened to the song - and thematically - the song is actually PERFECT for Julie. It could be her inner monologue for the last 2/3 of the play - when everyone is telling her Billy (her husband) is a no good loser and she says she knows - but she loves him anyway. The lyrics:

QUEENIE
I know it's wrong
I know he's rough
I don't know what to do
But we've been through enough
I know it's time
And yet I play
Maybe I like it this way.

I see his pain
I hear his cry
He pulls me to the edge
But I don't ask him why
I understand
And I obey
Maybe I like it this way.

I like the way he laughs
His strange and silent stare
I like the way he moves
The way he's always there
The way he calls my name
The way he takes control
I like the way this man has stirred my soul:

"When I first met Burrs, he was grand. You understand?
But I was scared and awfully lonely.
Hungry. And hopeful. How could I know?"

Maybe tomorrow it comes crashing down
Maybe next week I'll find another clown
Maybe I'll try to go a different way
But look who's sitting here today.

If I could change
If I could grow
I'd ask for nothing more
And through that door I'd go
But if I'm through
Why do I stay?

Maybe he wants me
Maybe he needs me
Maybe he loves me
Maybe I like it this way

And - well - we all know I can't belt - so no fear about that. Whatever I sing is going to come on legit soprano. May as well try it. So I took it to Mary - who was APPALLED that I would DARE take one of the most contemporary composers into a Rogers and Hammerstein audition - so we worked on another R&H song - SOMETHING WONDERFUL from the KING AND I, then she said - let's just sing through the Lippa. So, we did. And she was dumbfounded. She said - I am going to eat my words. This song is perfect. This song is Julie. And you do it as Julie - not as a cracked out showgirl addicted to kink and sleaze! Candace and I then worked on it - and I skyped it to Cara and had Reinking come over to work on the acting with me - and they were all like WHAT!? HOW DO YOU DO THAT! HOW DO YOU TAKE THIS BELTY SEXY SLEAZY SONG and make it a legit soprano Julie Jordan song? Well - I have NEVER seen the original show - I have no idea what it is "supposed" to sound like - I am doing a pure "me" interpretation. No copying. No trying to be the original. Just me. Singing in my voice. A song about bizarre human addiction - akin to Julie's- from Julie's point of view. I have done something I have NEVER done before - which is take a song - and make it completely my own. There is no Sierra to try and "be." Just - me - and it seems to make everyone's jaw drop. And that feeling is THRILLING! Exhilerating! I LOVE SINGING IT!

So I went to the audition today - had to wait for two hours so for the first hour and 45 minutes I had fun with my friends then I had to go into my "dark place' - which required reading about "the rainbow bridge" (you have to go to THE DAILY CORGI blog to understand) and people who didn't know me - kept coming up to me telling me to not be nervous - and that I wouldbe o.k. - which is REALLY awkward. A) you don't want to break your focus and B) how do you say - no - I want to be in this state of mind - I am purposefully reading uber depressing dead corgi stories to get to this state of mind. Then of course - when you walk into the audition - you can't go in and be all UBER happy and say your name - because you are in a dark dead corgi place. So you have to do some strange mix where you stay in the zone but are also personable. I think I did a decent job of that. And the accompanist was INCREDIBLE! I told them I was going to sing the "Unlikely choice of MAYBE I LIKE IT THIS WAY" from Andrew Lippa's THE WILD PARTY - and the director gave a weird grimace. Then I started - and the director started smiling and freaking out (in a good way) - it was actually rather distracting. But it was definitely a nod of approval. And they let me sing the ENTIRE song - without stopping me - AND they had stopped others for being "too belty." (One girl sang a song from MY FAIR LADY and apparently was too "belty." HOW can you be BELTY with MY FAIR LADY?) so I was freaking out that my song was going to be "too belty" - but oh wait - I can't belt...so - there we go. And at the end - he said asked me which "Side" I wanted to read and I said JULIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he said "i know exactly why you said that." (I'm assuming the music director who asked me to be a freaking "featured dancer" filled him in during the abnormally long wait between the girl who sang before me and myself - that I am INSANE about this role.) (Side note - I have some INCREDIBLY bizarre obsession with this role - I have NO idea why. And when people say I'd be a better "Carrie" - the comedic soprano character - I breakdown into tears and it takes a good five minutes to talk me out it.) SO I read Julie's side - which was like "Oh - he hits me - but thats o.k. - I love him anyway!" exactly the same as my song. The director then asked me if I was going to go to the dance call since I have so many dance credits. He said "I know you only want to be Julie - but you have all these great dance credits. (DAMN FEATURED DANCER! NO WAY! don't get me wrong - if I got paid - OF COURSE I'd be THRILLED to be cast - but freaking "featured dancer in a non-equity non-paying show after I had two leads - at the risk of being a diva - no no no. In fact - I am INCREDIBLY insulted the music director asked me to be one before auditions even started. She cast me as the title role in the operetta and then wants me to be a freaking "featured dancer." During an IM conversation three weeks ago while she was trying to convince me to be a featured dancer - I tried explaining I normally wouldn't even be auditioning for the show since it would mean pushing BACK the equity card for 2 months - but JULIE!!!! and the music director wasn't having it - Oh well.) So I smiled and said "if you need to see me dance for the role of Julie - Absolutely - I will be there." He said - well - Julie doesn't dance - so there really isn't any point. And I said thank you. Then I left - and my friend told me it was "AWESOME" and everyone in the room had fallen completely silent when I sang. I like to believe I "changed the room." Of course, you have NO idea what they were thinking...they may have hated my entire audition. They may have loved it. They may have been impartial. But that doesn't matter! I faced a MAJOR fear! (auditioning for a role I really actually WANT and have wanted for a VERY VERY VERY long time with VLOG - and risk NOT getting it - AND I found a song and COMPLETELY made it my own - which is a very very very special feeling!) I hope they enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed performing it. I hope, of course, that I get Julie - but there were many worthy opponents and I put forth my best case for the role. That is all I can do - and I am proud of myself no matter what! Because THAT is what I need to be able to do to stand out in the much much much bigger/more competitive sea of equity performers. Good voices are a dime a dozen...someone who can make you FEEL something - is what's special. That is what I hope I achieved with this song. So - it's a win win. I get cast - I get to be Julie. I don't - I get to go along my merry way and get seen at PAYING theatres! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

damn you itunesU!

I feel so out of sorts. I'm not sure why.

Actually - I think I do know why. I blame iTunesU and podcasts.

For the past two years - I've been blissfully - well - stupid. And robotic. Wake up. Go to ballet. Break. Go to jazz/contemporary/tap/pilates. Go home. Eat Dinner. Bed. Of course there were auditions in there, and for about 6 beautiful beautiful months VLOG rehearsals. But it was all in this merry little bubble of musical theatre.

Then, I discovered iTunesU. Actually - the person I have to THANK for this discovery is Mark, because during the horrible New Years of me basically being ignored by EVERYONE, a girl mentioned she went to Michigan and was happy she could listen to all of Ralph Williams' lectures on iTunesU for free. I didn't even know iTunesU existed. So I checked it out. I thought - I'll start out easy and got a Shakespeare course from Oxford. It BLEW MY MIND! It unlocked all of these doors that had been jammed. Questions being asked, source plays being explores, historical facts being tossed at me, familiar quotes saying hello to me like old friends you haven't seen in years, images of Shakespeare productions past present and future all flashing through my imagination! Suddenly the dreaded subway ride became 25 all too short minutes of DISCOVERY! It was like a drug - I was addicted. I got courses on sustainable energy, and suddenly I was listening to some of the world's top experts talk about the plans I never knew were in place for altering the built environment to be more economical in terms of energy use, timelines, budgets, and political bills that were already in action! Bills they hoped to see pass and technology they hoped to be implemented in the future. I got a course on Inventors, and how to be more innovative in your own mind, discussing how a t.v. or a computer built like a cube, with screens on each side of the cube, could discuss how people experience and interact with eachother during a t.v. show. (Instead of staring at a wall, we'd be sitting in a circle or a square and could discuss things perhaps more pro-actively.) I got a lecture on Eastern Philosophy and the Bhagavad Gita, how everyone from Gandhi to Bush interpret it differently. Subscribed to a podcast called The Naked Scientist that discussed random science facts, including neuroscience marketing, how and marketers and shops use science to sell us products and get our money. I discovered THIS AMERICAN LIFE where I learned about money - how it is created, how it doesnt really exist, only our belief in it exists, and how loans work effect the amount of money in the world. (That was a very intense complex show.) I can listen the BOYDY give lectures from England, and talk about his directions for the RSC. The RSC's podcasts where different critics and experts come and weigh in on the different productions taking place in Stratford. It is all exhilerating and I and hungry for more and more information! And suddenly, being in a silly ballet class seems completely trivial! But how can it be? Can something you care about be trivial? I think it just takes a while for your brain to adjust to a new point of view.

Then today, I had to go get new music for my CAROUSEL audition - because all of my Rogers and Hammerstein songs are FROM Carousel, I needed one NOT from Carousel. The Library was closed due to MLK day - so I had to go to COLONY RECORDS, the most evil tempting shop in all of Manhattan. I decided that I had to buy a compilation of Rogers and Hammerstein songs, not just the vocal selections for the show I was going to sing from. A compilation would have MANY songs I could use, the show...one. While looking for the PERFECT compilation, I actually found about 1000 perfect compilations. SO MUCH MUSIC I should learn! My audition book is REALLY only about 5 songs deep. They are a good 3 songs, but WOW, there were songs in these compilations that I thought - I need to know this! It would be so perfect for this type of show, and that type of show. Why have I been so limited. That is just stupidity. I mean, it's easy, and I can make those 5 songs work for anything, but why not take it to the next level, and really have songs that are theme/story appropriate for everything. I can do it! Esp. with Candace here now! And that leads me back to acting class! I have yet to find one that isn't evil - but I really need to. Great voices are a dime a dozen, its the acting that sets you apart. So I have to do so much of that as well as learn everything there is to know in the world!

And then through iTunes and the glory of free ticketing I've discovered the glory of COMEDY and I wish so badly that I was better at it! What a gift - to be able to make people laugh and be so witty and through humour shed new light on a situation. So on top of everything - part of me is dying to be a smart witty stand up comedian.

And I just feel out of sorts - knowing there is so much in the world I want to learn and do - and no necessarily knowing HOW to do, or WHEN to do, and having the resources to do it, or being able to let go of other things.

45 days to go! Need to write to AFTRA to get my "letter" saying I've been in their good graces.

comics

Through the glory of itunes podcasts and a free ticketing program here in NYC - I have been exposed to some incredible comedians this week! I must say I am ridiculously impressed by how intelligent they all have been, and how witty. I am truly envious of their ability to make the most mundane news stories rousing knee slappers! It makes me feel incredibly unwitty - and this is something I needs must work on!

Carousel audition are this week - the dreaded things. I've decided to just not care. I think it's best that way. Too many other things to worry about.

Must build rep---- must be AMAZING for March 5th --- must get more extra work so I have some MONEY! ARGH!

things

Cool things I've done this week:

Seen a staged reading of a new musical - a good one!

Seen the first preview of THE WHIPPING MAN, and incredibly intense play.

Touched a Stegasaurus fossil.

Learned new music over night.

Made videos for my dance blog

Listened to lectures on sustainable energy in the built environment and discovered several great podcast and univiersity courses available for free on itunes.

Adopted an endangered animal from the world wildlife fund as a gift for a friend. (A vampire bat to be precise.)

Ate crispy pig's head pate.

Got free tickets to a stand up comedy show. (show is Sat night.)

Saw Johnny Weir at Borders.

houseguest

How to be a good houseguest:

-Give the people you are staying with at least 24 hours notice that you are/might coming. Maybe even 12 hours would suffice. Or ask if it's o.k.

-A week is generally the accepted sofa stay. 10 days is a reallllly long time unless you are super close friends or dating.

-Do not be completely dependent on your host for entertainment and do not plan on spending the entire trip on their living room sofa. Leave sometimes.

-Bring your own computer if you want to keep checking your e-mail to see if you ex-boyfriend has e-mailed you his will because he has been threatening to commit suicide unless you take him back.

-Before you plan a trip, make sure you have enough money to feed yourself, so you don't have to eat your hosts food...for ten days...

- Be over the boy you had a one night booty call with once two years ago in the destination city before you arrive. If you aren't over it, do not subject your host to 10 days of sitting on the sofa wondering why said boy isn't leaping into your arms.

-If the said boy decides he wants to have a booty call the day before you leave, do not offer your hosts sofa as an acceptable place for hook-up number 2. That is just gross. Esp. if the host is sitting at the table next to the sofa in her pajamas attempting to blog.

-Do not ask "Is it o.k. if I come home late and just call you until you wake up to let me in" multiple times. Your host wants to sleep. Come home while they are awake or at home.

-Do not, while you host is working on music for an audition with her vocal coach roommate, decide it is also time for you to work on YOUR music, stand right next to your host (who is singing) and start singing your completely different song. That's just distracting and rude.

-Do not move around electronics so your cell phone can charge, then wonder why the internet isn't working.

up up and away.

Well things are looking a little up - touch wood.

First off - Steps gave me my job back. This was the most ludicrous ordeal ever, but it turned out o.k. I was very scared that I wouldnt be able to take dance class, for some reason, waking up to go to ballet gives me a sense of purpose and schedule. I know buffing floors is not in any sense my goal in life, but for now it let's me do something that means a lot to me and helps me get training towards that goal.

I was called in to an invited audition for PINKALICOUS - the MOTHER role of all things. I think I sucked. I mean - I sang a little mermaid song and FORGOT THE WORDS! I just laughed at myself when I left the room. So ridiculous. For the record, Pinakalicious would be awesome to do as it pays and is in the city - but it is also non-equity and doesn't pay a lot - and I am a little young to be playing the mom of a 16 year old. What I GOT out of this audition was I now know I have the ability to learn completely new music over night if given to me. (But let's not lie about this - I couldn't have done it sans Candace and Mary.) But I still DID it. I've never had to learn music over night before, and I did it. Good to know I have that power! Mission accomplished even if the job wasn't booked.

I think I've improved my "professional" blog a bit. It's fun making videos. I need to make them more professional, but it's all a learning process.

And I got to see and incredibly intense wonderful mind blowing play tonight called THE WHIPPING MAN. I'm not sure if I'm traumatized or inspired - but it certainly had a strong effect. I also got to eat "crispy pigs head" for dinner - surprisingly delicious.

numbers

Numbers:

1 - girl i havent spoken to in 2 years randomly crashing on my sofa for 10 days because she came to NYC and I'm "the only one she knows." Hrm...would have enjoyed some advanced notice.

2 - days - 6 auditions - seen zero times.

2 - times I covered for floor cleaners at steps who didnt come

0-words about whether or not I'm actually working at steps or have my own shifts

2- times today I was asked to work for someone for free. (VLOG wants me to market for the for free "wether or not I'm cast" in the upcoming production...another guy wants me to be his dramaturg for free.)

0-numbers of yeses I gave.

5065 - time I think I wanted to cry.

iTunesU

I have just discovered a glorious thing called iTunesU - where you can download lectures both in audition and video format from numerous Universities including UM, Oxford, Cambridge, and Yale. I discovered a wonderful Shakespeare lecturer that I actually LISTEN to - she is so knowledgeable - and I've never even thought of or known about approximately 80% of what she says. INCROYABLE! It is completley life changng - I can listen to lectures on the subway, while "killing time" downtown, while sitting around not being seen at auditions, at work (which is another long story - that STILL isn't freaking resolved - even though I'm currenlty subbing for the other cleaners who ARENT HERE! WTF!?) Anyhow, I got to listen to a wonderful lecture on OTHELLO and HENRY V tonight! Oh yeah - and did I forget to mention THEY ARE FREE! I can attend an entire YALE course FOR FREE! WOWZA!

I've downloaded 20 other lectures ranging from Shakespeare, green energy, Dante's inferno, knights and maidens on the middle ages, social policy and the arts, ancient Rome, the oil spill, and the psychology of advertising. I also found NPR on podcast and can listen to shows such as "This American Life" and "Capitol Steps." I am so excited to be exercising my brain!

It all helps me focus on things other than the EVILNESS currently presiding at STEPS - and the fact that VLOG wont stop freaking e-mailing about CAROUSEL. GRRRRR! I can't really explain why I get so worked up about CAROUSEL and no other musical - but I have this extremely bizarre need to play Julie (and NOT Carrie or any other character in the show - even though everyone says I"ve be a better Carrie and then I break down crying and it's weird.) It makes no sense - it's just me being weird - but the music director for IOLANTHE is music directing CAROUSEL and asked me to audition to be a freaking featured dancer at which point it took EVERY singer fiber of my being to not say "F you" to her. I'm sure she didn't mean it as an insult - but I took it as an insult. You don't cast someone as the lead in your operetta and then ask her to audition for a "featured dancer" role. Instead I mentioned I would only do it if I was Julie because it would require me putting off my much desired equity card for a month or two - and she kept saying WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN BEING IN THIS AWESOME SHOW AS A DANCER?" To which I respond - anything that pays. Both CAROUSEL and STEPS are making me nervously ill - and in the grand scheme of things - neither one is really worth the aggravation at all. Now...THE LITTLE MERMAID at Tuacahn - MAYBE - that at least pays. But that isn't what I am worked up about. The human psyche is insane. I like my brothers attitude. F-it - I'm having a guinness.

And - my LOVELY husband from Iolanthe did just that. He took me to see LA BETE on Broadway - which was a MARVELOUS show starring M. Rylance - a wonderful actor and former artistic director of the GLOBE theatre who I got to work with while at UM. He NEVER ceases to amaze! Plus - the play was so intelligent and wonderful! (of course - it WAS a 17th century play...and I am partial to anything "period.") It was about how our society (or rather 17th century France) settles for mediocrity to please the plebeians and how the masses can't decipher knowledge and competence from ignorance and baseness - and often confuse one for the other. How hard work, loyalty, knowledge, and skill often go unrewarded, while someone who entertains and amuses on the lowest level can easily gain approval and praise from the world. All themes which hit home to me at the moment. He then took me out to a bar (albeit a gay bar - I was literally the only girl except a black Tina Turner look alike who MIGHT have been a drag queen...) and we had our guinness (or guinness equivalents) and laughed a lot. Until wait too late in the night. I will have you know - he actually BOUGTH my drinks and HE got us free tickets to the show - AND he offered to make sure I made it to the subway alright --- all things straight guys should take a lesson on before asking to get in my pants. It was a lovely evening.

So - there is a lot of frustration - but also a lot of fabulous discoveries so far in 2011. A typical start to a typical year I suppose.:)

Raviolis

THANK GOODNESS for WONDERFUL BRITISH GAY MEN who take you out to wonderful evening of Italian restaurants, Broadway shows, and pubs. There is joy left in the world!:)