I didn't even get a call-back for CAROUSEL - which is o.k. - I didn't even cry - obviously disappointed - but more confused. I honestly felt it was my strongest audition - ever. So what went wrong? It's good because I think I need to move away from VLOG and onto things that pay - things that are more professional - and all that jazz - but I need to figure out what to do to get there.
I also, sadly, think I need to find a new voice teacher. Mary has had a tough few months, but my past few lessons she has just seemed so disoriented. But more than that - I don't want to say I outgrew her - because she IS fabulous - but I think a different part of my voice needs fine tuning. She works very specific bits of my voice (as will any teacher) - but other bits get neglected (as with any teacher) - and I need to make the neglected bits catch up! And then maybe go BACK to Mary. I'm exploring.
I signed up for a FREE improv acting class - which comes HIGHLy recommended by several people. We shall see how that goes!:)
Things just feel - off-kilter. I don't know how to make everything line up again. Or line up - better. I think the problem is - I'm growing a lot. (I hope the RIGHT way.) Candace is teaching me SOOOO much about music - I mean - I CAN READ A SCORE NOW! I am far from being able to sight-sing, but I can play my own part on the piano, figure out what I'm doing incorrectly, fix it, and make intelligent musical choices. And we actually - DO the things we say we are going to do. I've also been hanging out with Reinking a lot - which is really interesting. Somehow at the moment - we kind of need each other - and can push each other, have really great conversation about everything from acting and singing to space probes and the state of the union. And Cara --- we've been talking a lot at night - and I feel we can really share great ideas, thoughts, things we learned, how to best cope with situations.
What's strange though is -I feel like if I'm growing emotionally, talent-wise, and intellectually, why is everything so - OFF? I'm hoping its that awkward teenager phase before turning into a beautiful adult - and not growing in the wrong direction. I'm ready for my WONDERFUL to happen now. I'm ready, I'm willing, I'm able. WONDERFUL! ARRIVE!:)
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