CAROUSEL audition

Well...not matter what the outcome...I am incredibly proud of myself.

I auditioned for CAROUSEL and put forth my best case for the role. I have a friend Al (short for Alexandra) who played Julie on West End in London and won many an award for her portrayal and then REPRISED the role for which she was nominated for an OVATION award in L.A. and has received much critical acclaim for her "unique" Julie Jordan. I asked her what songs would be appropriate and she suggested MAYBE I LIKE IT THIS WAY from Andrew Lippa's THE WILD PARTY. Really? I thought. The song is usually a super belt song, it is definitely LOW, and is sung by a cracked out showgirl attracted to "sleaze and kink" - who throws a party that turns into an orgy with her lover dead at the end. Oh yes - that sounds EXACTLY like Julie! Julie - for the record is described in one casting description: Julie Jordan (Soprano, 16 - 28) Mill girl. Young, shy. A modest but passionate innocent who has no capacity for girlish wiles or feminine artifice. Well - those characters sounds JUST like twins! Anyhow - I listened to the song - and thematically - the song is actually PERFECT for Julie. It could be her inner monologue for the last 2/3 of the play - when everyone is telling her Billy (her husband) is a no good loser and she says she knows - but she loves him anyway. The lyrics:

QUEENIE
I know it's wrong
I know he's rough
I don't know what to do
But we've been through enough
I know it's time
And yet I play
Maybe I like it this way.

I see his pain
I hear his cry
He pulls me to the edge
But I don't ask him why
I understand
And I obey
Maybe I like it this way.

I like the way he laughs
His strange and silent stare
I like the way he moves
The way he's always there
The way he calls my name
The way he takes control
I like the way this man has stirred my soul:

"When I first met Burrs, he was grand. You understand?
But I was scared and awfully lonely.
Hungry. And hopeful. How could I know?"

Maybe tomorrow it comes crashing down
Maybe next week I'll find another clown
Maybe I'll try to go a different way
But look who's sitting here today.

If I could change
If I could grow
I'd ask for nothing more
And through that door I'd go
But if I'm through
Why do I stay?

Maybe he wants me
Maybe he needs me
Maybe he loves me
Maybe I like it this way

And - well - we all know I can't belt - so no fear about that. Whatever I sing is going to come on legit soprano. May as well try it. So I took it to Mary - who was APPALLED that I would DARE take one of the most contemporary composers into a Rogers and Hammerstein audition - so we worked on another R&H song - SOMETHING WONDERFUL from the KING AND I, then she said - let's just sing through the Lippa. So, we did. And she was dumbfounded. She said - I am going to eat my words. This song is perfect. This song is Julie. And you do it as Julie - not as a cracked out showgirl addicted to kink and sleaze! Candace and I then worked on it - and I skyped it to Cara and had Reinking come over to work on the acting with me - and they were all like WHAT!? HOW DO YOU DO THAT! HOW DO YOU TAKE THIS BELTY SEXY SLEAZY SONG and make it a legit soprano Julie Jordan song? Well - I have NEVER seen the original show - I have no idea what it is "supposed" to sound like - I am doing a pure "me" interpretation. No copying. No trying to be the original. Just me. Singing in my voice. A song about bizarre human addiction - akin to Julie's- from Julie's point of view. I have done something I have NEVER done before - which is take a song - and make it completely my own. There is no Sierra to try and "be." Just - me - and it seems to make everyone's jaw drop. And that feeling is THRILLING! Exhilerating! I LOVE SINGING IT!

So I went to the audition today - had to wait for two hours so for the first hour and 45 minutes I had fun with my friends then I had to go into my "dark place' - which required reading about "the rainbow bridge" (you have to go to THE DAILY CORGI blog to understand) and people who didn't know me - kept coming up to me telling me to not be nervous - and that I wouldbe o.k. - which is REALLY awkward. A) you don't want to break your focus and B) how do you say - no - I want to be in this state of mind - I am purposefully reading uber depressing dead corgi stories to get to this state of mind. Then of course - when you walk into the audition - you can't go in and be all UBER happy and say your name - because you are in a dark dead corgi place. So you have to do some strange mix where you stay in the zone but are also personable. I think I did a decent job of that. And the accompanist was INCREDIBLE! I told them I was going to sing the "Unlikely choice of MAYBE I LIKE IT THIS WAY" from Andrew Lippa's THE WILD PARTY - and the director gave a weird grimace. Then I started - and the director started smiling and freaking out (in a good way) - it was actually rather distracting. But it was definitely a nod of approval. And they let me sing the ENTIRE song - without stopping me - AND they had stopped others for being "too belty." (One girl sang a song from MY FAIR LADY and apparently was too "belty." HOW can you be BELTY with MY FAIR LADY?) so I was freaking out that my song was going to be "too belty" - but oh wait - I can't belt...so - there we go. And at the end - he said asked me which "Side" I wanted to read and I said JULIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he said "i know exactly why you said that." (I'm assuming the music director who asked me to be a freaking "featured dancer" filled him in during the abnormally long wait between the girl who sang before me and myself - that I am INSANE about this role.) (Side note - I have some INCREDIBLY bizarre obsession with this role - I have NO idea why. And when people say I'd be a better "Carrie" - the comedic soprano character - I breakdown into tears and it takes a good five minutes to talk me out it.) SO I read Julie's side - which was like "Oh - he hits me - but thats o.k. - I love him anyway!" exactly the same as my song. The director then asked me if I was going to go to the dance call since I have so many dance credits. He said "I know you only want to be Julie - but you have all these great dance credits. (DAMN FEATURED DANCER! NO WAY! don't get me wrong - if I got paid - OF COURSE I'd be THRILLED to be cast - but freaking "featured dancer in a non-equity non-paying show after I had two leads - at the risk of being a diva - no no no. In fact - I am INCREDIBLY insulted the music director asked me to be one before auditions even started. She cast me as the title role in the operetta and then wants me to be a freaking "featured dancer." During an IM conversation three weeks ago while she was trying to convince me to be a featured dancer - I tried explaining I normally wouldn't even be auditioning for the show since it would mean pushing BACK the equity card for 2 months - but JULIE!!!! and the music director wasn't having it - Oh well.) So I smiled and said "if you need to see me dance for the role of Julie - Absolutely - I will be there." He said - well - Julie doesn't dance - so there really isn't any point. And I said thank you. Then I left - and my friend told me it was "AWESOME" and everyone in the room had fallen completely silent when I sang. I like to believe I "changed the room." Of course, you have NO idea what they were thinking...they may have hated my entire audition. They may have loved it. They may have been impartial. But that doesn't matter! I faced a MAJOR fear! (auditioning for a role I really actually WANT and have wanted for a VERY VERY VERY long time with VLOG - and risk NOT getting it - AND I found a song and COMPLETELY made it my own - which is a very very very special feeling!) I hope they enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed performing it. I hope, of course, that I get Julie - but there were many worthy opponents and I put forth my best case for the role. That is all I can do - and I am proud of myself no matter what! Because THAT is what I need to be able to do to stand out in the much much much bigger/more competitive sea of equity performers. Good voices are a dime a dozen...someone who can make you FEEL something - is what's special. That is what I hope I achieved with this song. So - it's a win win. I get cast - I get to be Julie. I don't - I get to go along my merry way and get seen at PAYING theatres! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!