broadwayworld.com

IIIIIII am on broadwayworld.com - that's right! ME! BY NAME! I am on broadwayworld.com all the time - I'm obsessed - infamous - for knowing everything! I even follow it on twitter. Then I got a twitter - about me!:) Or rather - about the show I'm in - that mentioned MEEEEEEEEEEE! I go there for all my Sierra info - and now - there is MY info! MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I feel - BEYOND cool!:)

everything is going to be o.k.

I spent the afternoon with Fabrizio helping him workshop some choreographer. After a week of nervous breakdown and confidence issues - and afternoon with Fabrizio was exactly what the doctor prescribed. Everything is going to be o.k.!:)

Leg kicks

So - West Side Story - apparently I look Hispanic enough - but I can't kick my leg up high enough. Excuse me? WHAT? If there is one thing I am sure about - it is that I can kick my leg up as high as any leg goes. Teachers literally say "if I were M, I would get my leg up here, but for the rest of us - here is o.k." Apparently the NYU students call me Ms. Legs for how high my legs go. Even the uber ballerinas were like WHAT!? You have great extension. Did they cut you by mistake? (they all had stories to tell me of being cut by mistake.)

I am actually really tempted to just say F-it to dance. If I can't get kept at a call where I was TOLD that I look right, and ALLLLLL I have to do is "Kick my face" - dance is completely pointless. A waste of time for anything but to keep in shape. Really people? REALLY? My leg goes up. I can hold it up for however long you want. I can kick it up, slowly extend is it, develope it up, grand battement it up, lift is from a degage - do it with a bar, without a bar, on releve, balance, and my technique for it is great - no hiked up hip or out of alignment posture. The teachers always walk around the room expected to call out the girls with high legs on their incorrect placement, but they get to me and they say "whoah, that is very good." And yet, AND YET! I get cut at an audition for it. RIDICULOUS. I'm still FUMING. Anything else - ANYTHING else, I could think of some excuse. The choreographer literally said "all we want to see if whether or not you can whack your head with your leg or not. If you can you'll stay. If not, you'll get cut." Whack I did. GAH!

So - I think what I really need to do is forget the dance and focus on acting and singing. Find vocal performance workshops, find acting classes, get in rinkidink plays that I can actually get seen for, and learn that way - because it obviously aint going to happen from dance, for whatever cosmic reason. It's strange - because I really am a great dancer. Ah well - I just have to get amazing at singing and acting instead.:) Hey - it's what all the stars do!:)

In other news - I actually CRIED ON CUE in my Fiddler scene today! AMAZING! That has never happened before. If I wasnt so busy being sad - I would have been ecstatic! After rehearsal - the daughters, motel, fyedka, and golde all went out for hamburgers (because I was having a ridiculous craving) and it was amazing! So nice to hang out with such sweet intelligent wonderful people!:)

Also, Starting Sunday - I'm Frabrizio's assistant choreographer for an off Bway show he is choreographing for. HOOORAH! I do love me some Fabrizio. One day, maybe I'll be able to be a light int he piazza like he is!:)

Also - less than a week until JP moves in! I'm so excited! If nothing else - VOCAL COACH IN THE APT! But I just think it will be wonderful to have someone who I want to be around in the apt - instead of smelly and/or psycho people. Nathan he is not - and sure - he has more than his fair share of oddities - but overall - I think it will be wonderful!:) And I think - I will be very vocally productive! I will have to learn opera arias that's for sure! And he promised to help me with the West Side Story music. I'm so excited!!!:)

That's all for now.

West Side Story

Apparently I've missed my true calling in life - "West Side Story." I mean - it seems logical that I would have paid at least a LITTLE attention to the musical before - it's based on Romeo and Juliet, it takes place in the Heights where I happen to live, lots of dancing, the lead is a high light legit soprano - sounds perfect! Except that the lead and most of the other characters are Hispanic. So I completely wrote it off as something I would never do. I'm many things - and a mutt of many cultures - but most definitely not Hispanic.

In a very weird twist of fate I got to sing for this audition. I only went to it because I was auditioning for two other shows in the building for which I was NOT seen and I saw they WERE seeing people so I thought what the heck. They aren't looking for me - what do I have to lose.

So I'm waiting in the room and everyone is telling me I look like Maria - and my dress is so Maria - and blah blah blah. Alright- people tend to butter you up just before an audition - so I don't give it much thought. Then I walk into the room - and the two casting people behind the desk say that I look just like Maria. What? EXCUSE ME? You mean - I look like a 21 (currently 23) year old waifish Argentinian? (The girl currently playing it on Broadway.) Or - Hispanic - at all for that matter? Er ---- what?

Then they ask me to sing something from the show. Er.................I don't know the show - i can't even sing a single song from memory from the show - I offer up my other soprano options....end up singing can't help loving that man of mine. Not exactly ------- what they want. They then want me to converse with the pianist in Spanish. Er.......................... je parle francais? I leave feeling like a royal idiot.

How on EARTH have I gone my entire life never working, even in my living room, on a single song from West Side Story?

So - wow - I'm Hispanic?

I go to Mary and I tell her - and she immediately says - OH MY GOD! You're right! I have no idea why we havent touched a single song from West Side Story. You could totally play her. So we start working on the music - it's damn hard! The hardest thing Ive ever sung. Not necessarily because it's so high - but just - weird - and rhythmic and - Pianissimo --- very quiet --- normally you BLAST high notes - this needs to be all quiet and gentle. Freaking hard! I guess that's why they want songs from the score. It's unlike anything I have ever sung before.

I started researching the girl playing her now. I'm super lame. The hunt for one of the central characters in "West Side Story," which Mr. Laurents is restaging with parts of the book and lyrics translated into Spanish, began about a year ago. The show's producers wanted a particular combination for their Maria -- a Latina, a strong soprano and a skilled musical theater actress who didn't look too old for the part. They scoured New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. No luck. "It was impossible," says Jeffrey Seller, one of the producers."She has this incredible, ineffable something," the director says. "She's trained as an opera singer, she's trained as a ballet dancer and she's trained as an actress. It's unbelievable in somebody that young."

Wait --- they want a trained ballet dancer, who can play young,a dn sings soprano....who can pass for Hispanic... WHY ON EARTH HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT! I'm so busy trying to become a redhead and skate around on heelies that I totally overlook the one that I might be right for ---without much effort?

she is described as: the willowy soprano, In the article in the Michigan Daily about me directing, the author wrote about my "willowy arms." It seemed such a strange choice of words I remember it.

Anyhow - the dance audition is tomorrow - I'm going to go - but I' not expecting too much. Everyone else has the choreography memorized - it's iconic. And I've never looked twice at it. But come the next 6 month required call - I will be able to converse in Spanish, I will know the choreography, and I will know the music.

How strange to see how the rest of the world perceives us... and how we perceive ourselves - and the opportunities missed because of it. A good lesson. A very very good lesson.

extra extra!

Well - today I entered the wonderful world of AFTRA extra acting. This was a surprisingly merciful experience - with an 11:30 a.m. call time that let us go at 5:30p.m. I've heard horror stories of 7 a.m. call times that keep you until 11 p.m. and what not.

There was a bit of drama at the beginning - they had me down as a non-union contract - the t.v. show called the casting company who insisted I filled out the paper work incorrectly, then haughtily said - we'll go pull her file and call you back. Well - lo and behold - they pulled my file and realized that I had in fact - provided them with my AFTRA number and a copy of my AFTRA card - and they changed the contract.

I didn't know what to expect. The first thing to expect is - TONS of carbs! CARBS EVERYWHERE you go! Danishes, muffins, bagels, crackers, cookies, chips, pancakes, and - some nuts. Carbs for days!

They also told us to come "Camera Ready." This being said - I woke up early and did myself up the best I could. They actually sent us to wardrobe, hair, and makeup though and provided us with whatever we needed. Apparently my wardrobe was perfect for a patron at a Karaoke bar. My make-up was fine - it didn't need anything. (it was a replica - or as close I could come - to the make-up Sierra wears in Love Never Dies -hrmmmm - I'm not obsessed - nooooooo...) but everyone kept commenting on how pretty it looked so - hey - whatever works. My hair - oh my hair was a different matter. After being blown dry straight then straightened with an iron TWICE - I was good to go. My hair was amazing and I got compliments on it for the rest of the day. Everyone wanted to touch it at Fiddler rehearsal. Crazy. After all this time - I STILL haven't figured out how to do my hair. lol.

Then - we waited around for two hours - nibbling on carbs and making small talk. I met a whole bunch of really interesting, kind, helpful, sweet, informative people - some pursuing acting, some pursuing fashion, some just looking for a part time job of any sort. It was really interesting.

Then they called us in. I got sat down right next to the main talent - so I guess I was important and was assigned a hair and makeup person - which meant MORE hair straightening (Oh you HAIR! Trying to take over the world! ) I was sat down next to a really obnoxious boy who was apparently "over" the whole extra thing and was incredibly distracting and wanted to know why I was taking it all so seriously. I told him, because I am interested in how t.v. is directed and because I treat every performing gig, no matter how small or large, as if it was Broadway - it's all practice. He looked a little taken aback - and stopped trying to act cool and over everything. (He even missed our great exit out of the bar once because he was busy being cool. GAH!) Anyhow, apparently we did a good job in the end - the director gave us a good job signal. The "background" (me) was released and we were told to go home. $139 for what actually amounted to about an hours of actual work. 6 hours of time. Pretty harmless. I'm told the other jobs are usually harder but I'm glad - VERY VERY VERY glad - that MERCY was MERCIFUL!

And thus concluded my first foray into the wonderful world of extra work.

venting

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Rehearsal until 11 p.m. in the financial district and audition in the morning do not go together - AHHHHH! BODY ---- mind ---- hating me.........BLAH!

sad/proud

It makes me sad that my mom thinks she has nothing to brag about. I know I am not Sierra Boggess - but it's a hard world - and I am making as much progress as I possibly can and have a lot I am proud of. I AM proud of playing Tzeitel. Fine - it's not Broadway. It's not even summer stock. But I beat out people who graduated from NYU and Manhattan school of music for that role - that is nothing to be ashamed of. That is fabulous. People who have worked with me - want to work with me again - VLOG cast me again - as a lead - and Fabrizio uses me in all of his projects. I've given two vocal concerts and gotten very positive feedback. I am a beautiful dancer - even if for whatever reason - I don't get called back - I am a fabulous singer (a bit rough around the edges - I definitely need more training - but people come to listen to me sing when I work at Steps - and they make song requests - they could easily write me off like they do every other musical theatre person that sings - but they don't. One even asked me to sing in a show she is choreographing. Alright - they don't pay - but when you aren't SEEN for the paying jobs - I don't think I have anything to be ashamed of. I put in a good day's work - every day - and I believe it is recognized by those around me and I am proud of what I produce. I work hard, I do get frustrated, but I work hard, and have improved leaps and bounds - and put myself out there - and do the best I can every day. I have to believe - I just have to - that this will amount to something extraordinary. It will. And along the way - I have to be just as proud of all the little accomplishments that get to the big one as I am of the end result. And I hope those around me can be proud of the little steps as well.

I believe it was Douglas Sills in Scarlet Pimpernel who sang "Don't Give in, Don't Give Up, But come back with a story to tell." That's what all this is. All the little steps are the chapters of the story. And the key - to not give in or give up - but hold your head even higher as into the fire you go!

Triumph of the mind!

So many steps - so many miles! BUT I WAS SEEN TODAY! TWICE! Now of course - I'm second guessing EVERYTHING! OMG - what if I actually sucked!? BLAAAAAAH! BEGONE EVIL THOUGHTS! One must think like Evgeny Plushenko! No matter what - I deserve gold - and if they don't give me gold - it's only because I deserved platinum. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! QUADS SHALL BE MINE! BEGONE thoughts of doubt! You do NO GOOD and I don't want you! DISAPPEAR thou demons of evil! Only happy positive confident thoughts are welcome here!

And tomorrow - I shall start the great quest - to be an extra in the movies! WOOOOOOOOOOO!

Come on career! COME TO ME NOW!

I will get a summer stock job.

I will be in Love Never Dies as the first Christine Cover.

I will think only confident thoughts.

I will train as hard as I possibly can and take as good care of myself as possible.

I will not be subject to the negative influences of other people.

I will accomplish amazing feats!

"Sometimes I think as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast" - Alice in Wonderland.

And now - I will make the possible!:)

Waiting.

I'm feeling impatient. Impatient about everything. I'm tired of waiting. Waiting in lines - anywhere. Waiting on the subway. Waiting in a room to audition. Waiting for the day when I will GET to audition. Waiting for the day I'll be hired to do something I love. Waiting for a knight in shining armour. Waiting to have enough money to move into an apt. with a laundry machine that won't ruin my cloths. Waiting for it to stop raining. Waiting in line at a grocery store. Waiting in line at the movies. Waiting for the movie to start. Waiting to buy theatre tickets. Waiting for m boss to call me to see if I have a job during the week. (And hoping it doesnt come last minute and I have to re-arrange everything.) Waiting for responses to e-mails or phone calls or texts. Waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting. I AM READY NOW! Give me my theatre job NOW!!!! I am ready - I am willing - I am able. GIVE IT TO ME.

Alright - thank you for letting me have my temper tantrum. I now need to go to bed - so I can wake up - and probably not get seen at two auditions tomorrow - but I will patiently wait - I will wait for the building to open, I will wait in line to sign up, and then I will wait for - maybe - I dunno - 10 hours (8 a.m.-6 p.m.???) And see if I get seen. OH BOY! I can hardly WAIT!

LND

I know this sounds crazy - and dangerously cocky - but I will be in "Love Never Dies" when it comes to NY in the fall. I'm far too emotionally invested in it to tell you whether the soundtrack is actually good or not - but seriously - it had to have been written for me. It's perfect. It just has to happen. And it will.

Very bizarre entry.

Sometimes -you have to change how you view yourself.

I always have obsession -people I look up to - want to be - have fake crushes on - etc... and somehow I perceive them as being "better" than me - unattainable - a step ahead, however you want to look at - I don't see them as my peers - I see them as my superiors.

Until - "Fabrizio." I put Fabrizio on a pedestal - he was in Little Mermaid - he had done three Broadway shows - smart - intelligent - a teacher at NYU - what wasn't to love? Fabrizio was unlike my other idols though - in that - I actually - KNOW him. And I met him - not by oogling at a stage door - I met him - because we were in a workshop - TOGETHER - we sat next to each other on stage - and danced with each other - in the same piece. Yet I was still in wonder.

I have continued to be in wonder for - what I believe is two years now - but then something very strange happened. He started teaching an OPEN dance class at NYU - where I could attend. I attended because - heck - no other good classes were on Sunday - and he is pleasant to look at. I started the class - very timid - I had always believed I was somehow inferior because I didn't have an MFA in Musical Theatre - therefore would be shunned by the NYU kids. However, the opposite happened. In some weird way - they looked up to me - they thought I was an FABRIZIO's level. I was like - oh no no no! I learn Mermaid choreography from him - I'm not IN Mermaid - was never in Mermaid (except in my brain.) But that was how they viewed me. And I guess they started calling me "Ms. Legs!" because I'm so flexible - and said that I was welcome to NYU anytime - and could take any of their classes. Then I heard Fabrizio talking about me to some people - and whenever he describes me - he talks about me like - I'm his equal - and sometimes - he looks up to ME! To ME!? What? My "optimistic' attitude - work ethic, etc... my ballet technique - it's all INCREDIBLY strange --- could I POSSIBLY be on the same level as Fabrizio?!?!?!?!?! Then he asked me to collaborate with him and another person from Mermaid on a book they're writing. WHAT? And get paid to do it. Wait - am I even qualified to do this? I guess so...

Then - people at work (at Steps) started saying things - things like - if you don't get your equity card I'm gonna march up to equity to shout at them myself - and - so few people can do all three as well as you - and - I'd make a joke about my singing - and expect everyone to laugh (about how I torture people when I sing and they have to listen to me pretend to be Christine in Phantom) and they say things like "Nonono! What's sad is you think that - but it's beautiful! We love listening to it!"

Wait? What? People WANT to listen to it? People actually want to hear me sing Phantom of the Opera? While cleaning a dance studio? And not laugh at me?

Could it be - that I'm actually - an incredibly strong triple threat? REALLY? Who - if given the chance - is indeed on par with Fabrizio? Is the only thing standing in my way - me? And viewing me as - somehow - a second-class citizen? (and the lacking of a certain card?)

It is a strange realization - to realize you are - indeed capable of immense success - and allowing yourself permission to attain that. It's freeing - and horrifying - I imagine a bit like hang gliding.

But it's true - I have to view myself as every bit as worthy capable willing and able as everyone on Broadway - otherwise - how will I convince the casting directors I'm ready? And I AM ready. So - here we go! On an amazing adventure - knowing that I belong in the world - this world - I'm not Ariel staring up from the ocean wishing she had legs - I HAVE legs - and now - I have to stand! YAY metaphors!

And this was a very bizarre entry.

homesick?

I've been being eerily nostalgic recently. Remembering strange things from my not too distant childhood and missing them - and getting all misty and weepy eyed about it. Walks to the park. Bike trips to Walgreens. Watching strange t.v. shows and believing that's what real life was like. Reading a paragraph of a book outloud in 3rd grade English class (specifically Black Beauty.) Playing bubble ghost and matterhorn screamer on my first computer. I don't know where this has come from. It's incredibly strange and making me feel incredibly homesick - which is a strange feeling. I'm not sure I've ever been homesick in my entire life. I have always loved home - but I've always equally loved adventures away. I figure it's just the winter weather getting to me. I hope that's all it is.

JP is gonna move in. Which is exciting. My HOPE is that it will be akin to the 100 acre wood. I mean - nothing will EVER be the 100 acre wood. That was a singular unique experience where I made life long friends - but I do hope that I will have more of a"family" - JP is kinda my very --- er---- glittery? musical? gay (but not)? NYC brother? Who plays fierce piano and can give great vocal coaching! For FREEEEEE! He also likes to cook - REAL FOOD - so hopefully real meals will be order - and I like his friends - they are intelligent interesting talented people - MY AGE - which is very nice. So hopefully I won't dread coming home for fear my roommate will be home. I suppose - I should also hope he isn't ALWAYS home -I do enjoy my alone time! But I suppose that is what my room is for. And he assures me he enjoys hibernating with his computer as well - playing interactive role playing games (or something - like world of warcraft?) so - computer hibernating will still be in effect.

I suppose Kat and Cara being gone add to my feeling of homesickness. Without them - and with Rienking's impending departure in two weeks - and Amanda always a school - My NYC family is - er - not in NYC. I mean - I have plenty of other wonderful friends - Alena and Laura for example - but they have always been friends - not family - but that can always change. Theya re indeed wonderful.

Today was Austin's last dance class for a while taht he is teaching. It was great - because before class overheard some other dancers talking about me calling me Miss Legs - and talking about my crazy long legs. (My legs aren't crazy long - but they are flexible and go up high - it is often confused - lol.) Still - it made me happy!:)

And work tonight was fairly awesome. Two people gave me massages - and I was fed cookies and two different types of cake - whilst I sang in annex 1 and buffed the floor - and was told how fabulous my voice sounded. Minus the floor buffing - it was a little bit of heaven. haha. Very strange - work is rarely that heavenly - but I thought - it was worth taking note of the fact that it was tonight.

Alright - off to start a new week!:)

What will happen.

What will happen this year:

JP will move in and we will make marvelous roommates and the apt. will be happy.

I will get cast in the Broadway version of LOVE NEVER DIES

I will get a summerstock job.

I will get a performable high E and F (just just a - I warmed up to E and F) (not that there is any actual need for them - I just want them - no musical theatre actually goes up there.)

I will get my pilates certification.

I will support myself.

mental explosion

Today - I found myself staring into the abyss being incredibly bored. And I got mad at myself. How - could I possibly be bored? It is selfish and ungrateful for me to be bored. Then I realized - it wasn't boredom - it was frustration. There are SO many things I WANT to be doing - but am not - because for whatever reason - I perceive I cannot at the moment - and I want to change that - I just don't know how.

I WANT to be like the figure skaters training super hard for a goal, going to photoshoots, promoting products, guest starring on shows, running educational seminars, writing blogs and articles that people actually read, competing performing, rehearsing, collaborating, creating, but I am not. Why?

Well first of all - I am not yet famous - so no one particularly wants me to endorse their product.

But I wonder - why am I not famous - or even really working? Have I not done enough self promoting? How do I self promote? How do I get an agent who will book for auditions and educational events and photoshoots and t.v. shows? How do I get seen at auditions?

Well I came up with a few ideas. First of all - I figured out how to get AFTRA work. You go to Central Casting on any Tuesday or Thursday and get photographed for "extra work." So - I can now join AFTRA and wait a year - and get my AEA card. Hooooray.

I can also get people to come see Fiddler. The problem is - no one on the publicity team will give me the go ahead on anything. They won't give me the not go ahead either. They just don't respond. It's like shouting into the wind - or even spitting into the wind. I wrote an article to submit to the publications that I've been speaking to about judging systems - and no one will even say - it's good - submit it! WHAT!? Don't THEY want people to come see the show?

I started submitting myself to people - but I 've yet to hear back from anyone. Even Broward Stage denied me an audition! WHAT? I have HOUSING! I am basically FREE for them!? Why won't they see me? GAH!

There is a really good season for me in St. Louis. I've been considering flying out there - but they require you have local housing - and need to provide two documents proving you are local - so----- the good thing is - you are REQUIRED to have your equity card at the end - but I don't know how to prove I am a native of St. Louis.

There is always Fabrizio - who - as always - is my white knight - and seems to give me work whenever he can.

Apparently there are open mic nights of sorts - where you can go an perform a Broadway song with a pianist - and be discovered by - what will probably be a bunch of old gay guys - but hey - I'm in a business where old gay guys are quite powerful.

I can make one of the working dance teachers falls desperately in love with me and use me in all of their work - but so far - Fabrizio is the closest I've come to this. (I will happily work for Fabrizio wherever he may lead!) lol.

Mary is having an agent workshop she wants me to sing at - where casting directors will hear some of her students who she feels are ready.

I've started working on the LOVE NEVER DIES music - so when they need a Sierra understudy when the show comes to Broadway - I'll be there! It's high soprano music - I love it.

I also want to get my pilates certification - so I can teach pilates and earn money- and bond with casts I'm involved with by offering pilates before rehearsal.

I think I have the training part down - I am extraordinarily diligent about taking class and practicing my voice. Obsessively so.

I updated my website - both directing and created a "performer" section. I also created a "performer" twitter - a "professional" twitter so to say. I figure if I just start acting like everyone cares about my twitter and website - maybe they will.

I also can't believe I have to deal with the roommate situation again. I'm PRAYING that JP lives with me - but I guess you never know. I have a few options - which is good. It will be better when there is a signed sealed and delivered deal.

or....

or...maybe...instead of dancing with the stars - I'll in a production of Fiddler on the Roof - where Tevye drops out and doesn't tell anyone - and an emergency replacements is found - without anyone knowing - and the director gets hired to be assistant directing on La Cage on Bway and informs us that he won't be at several rehearsals - and when I get there - instead of rehearsing - we fold flyers instead ...yeah - today was awesome.

DWTS

Hey - and MAYBE - if I worked really hard like Evan - I too could be on Dancing with the Stars!

Some goals

Some goals:

To eat healthier. We aren't talking lower calories or crazy fad diets or I need to get skinny - but just eat healthier. Cooke more - don't always go out and buy things that are easy on the go - know what the ingredients are in the food - know what nutritional value is coming from the food.

Eat real meals WITH VEGGIES not just - waffles.

Really need to work on getting the JAZZ quality in jazz - stay low to the ground - strong dynamic arm movements (not lythe and graceful ballerina) - work on taking up a lot of space - BIG STEPS when they are called for - as well as staying close and undernearth yourself to the tiny ones - precise positions.

Really work on the high Es and Fs - so they are truly performance ready. (Not that I will ever have to bust out a high E or F - but you know - gotta have them on hand. ) And get that darn belted E - the D in find - but that E is the money note. (I'll leave the Fs and Gs to Reinking - I'll take the soprano Fs up the octave.)

Work on marketing myself. I already updated my website to have a "performers" page. Maybe a video blog a la Ashley Wagner or Johnny Weir? Get everyone under the sun to see Fiddler. Get extra work. Get in front of casting directors. (This may mean pushing Mary for help.) (And perhaps Fabrizio...) (And Woman in White contacts.) (And press people I met via the Olympics - bizarrely...)

Being organized. It's a life challenge.

Being social. Hanging out with people my age - my peers - who can push me and who I can push in return.

And - this Lincoln quote: “Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.”