sad/proud

It makes me sad that my mom thinks she has nothing to brag about. I know I am not Sierra Boggess - but it's a hard world - and I am making as much progress as I possibly can and have a lot I am proud of. I AM proud of playing Tzeitel. Fine - it's not Broadway. It's not even summer stock. But I beat out people who graduated from NYU and Manhattan school of music for that role - that is nothing to be ashamed of. That is fabulous. People who have worked with me - want to work with me again - VLOG cast me again - as a lead - and Fabrizio uses me in all of his projects. I've given two vocal concerts and gotten very positive feedback. I am a beautiful dancer - even if for whatever reason - I don't get called back - I am a fabulous singer (a bit rough around the edges - I definitely need more training - but people come to listen to me sing when I work at Steps - and they make song requests - they could easily write me off like they do every other musical theatre person that sings - but they don't. One even asked me to sing in a show she is choreographing. Alright - they don't pay - but when you aren't SEEN for the paying jobs - I don't think I have anything to be ashamed of. I put in a good day's work - every day - and I believe it is recognized by those around me and I am proud of what I produce. I work hard, I do get frustrated, but I work hard, and have improved leaps and bounds - and put myself out there - and do the best I can every day. I have to believe - I just have to - that this will amount to something extraordinary. It will. And along the way - I have to be just as proud of all the little accomplishments that get to the big one as I am of the end result. And I hope those around me can be proud of the little steps as well.

I believe it was Douglas Sills in Scarlet Pimpernel who sang "Don't Give in, Don't Give Up, But come back with a story to tell." That's what all this is. All the little steps are the chapters of the story. And the key - to not give in or give up - but hold your head even higher as into the fire you go!