Actually - I think I do know why. I blame iTunesU and podcasts.
For the past two years - I've been blissfully - well - stupid. And robotic. Wake up. Go to ballet. Break. Go to jazz/contemporary/tap/pilates. Go home. Eat Dinner. Bed. Of course there were auditions in there, and for about 6 beautiful beautiful months VLOG rehearsals. But it was all in this merry little bubble of musical theatre.
Then, I discovered iTunesU. Actually - the person I have to THANK for this discovery is Mark, because during the horrible New Years of me basically being ignored by EVERYONE, a girl mentioned she went to Michigan and was happy she could listen to all of Ralph Williams' lectures on iTunesU for free. I didn't even know iTunesU existed. So I checked it out. I thought - I'll start out easy and got a Shakespeare course from Oxford. It BLEW MY MIND! It unlocked all of these doors that had been jammed. Questions being asked, source plays being explores, historical facts being tossed at me, familiar quotes saying hello to me like old friends you haven't seen in years, images of Shakespeare productions past present and future all flashing through my imagination! Suddenly the dreaded subway ride became 25 all too short minutes of DISCOVERY! It was like a drug - I was addicted. I got courses on sustainable energy, and suddenly I was listening to some of the world's top experts talk about the plans I never knew were in place for altering the built environment to be more economical in terms of energy use, timelines, budgets, and political bills that were already in action! Bills they hoped to see pass and technology they hoped to be implemented in the future. I got a course on Inventors, and how to be more innovative in your own mind, discussing how a t.v. or a computer built like a cube, with screens on each side of the cube, could discuss how people experience and interact with eachother during a t.v. show. (Instead of staring at a wall, we'd be sitting in a circle or a square and could discuss things perhaps more pro-actively.) I got a lecture on Eastern Philosophy and the Bhagavad Gita, how everyone from Gandhi to Bush interpret it differently. Subscribed to a podcast called The Naked Scientist that discussed random science facts, including neuroscience marketing, how and marketers and shops use science to sell us products and get our money. I discovered THIS AMERICAN LIFE where I learned about money - how it is created, how it doesnt really exist, only our belief in it exists, and how loans work effect the amount of money in the world. (That was a very intense complex show.) I can listen the BOYDY give lectures from England, and talk about his directions for the RSC. The RSC's podcasts where different critics and experts come and weigh in on the different productions taking place in Stratford. It is all exhilerating and I and hungry for more and more information! And suddenly, being in a silly ballet class seems completely trivial! But how can it be? Can something you care about be trivial? I think it just takes a while for your brain to adjust to a new point of view.
Then today, I had to go get new music for my CAROUSEL audition - because all of my Rogers and Hammerstein songs are FROM Carousel, I needed one NOT from Carousel. The Library was closed due to MLK day - so I had to go to COLONY RECORDS, the most evil tempting shop in all of Manhattan. I decided that I had to buy a compilation of Rogers and Hammerstein songs, not just the vocal selections for the show I was going to sing from. A compilation would have MANY songs I could use, the show...one. While looking for the PERFECT compilation, I actually found about 1000 perfect compilations. SO MUCH MUSIC I should learn! My audition book is REALLY only about 5 songs deep. They are a good 3 songs, but WOW, there were songs in these compilations that I thought - I need to know this! It would be so perfect for this type of show, and that type of show. Why have I been so limited. That is just stupidity. I mean, it's easy, and I can make those 5 songs work for anything, but why not take it to the next level, and really have songs that are theme/story appropriate for everything. I can do it! Esp. with Candace here now! And that leads me back to acting class! I have yet to find one that isn't evil - but I really need to. Great voices are a dime a dozen, its the acting that sets you apart. So I have to do so much of that as well as learn everything there is to know in the world!
And then through iTunes and the glory of free ticketing I've discovered the glory of COMEDY and I wish so badly that I was better at it! What a gift - to be able to make people laugh and be so witty and through humour shed new light on a situation. So on top of everything - part of me is dying to be a smart witty stand up comedian.
And I just feel out of sorts - knowing there is so much in the world I want to learn and do - and no necessarily knowing HOW to do, or WHEN to do, and having the resources to do it, or being able to let go of other things.
45 days to go! Need to write to AFTRA to get my "letter" saying I've been in their good graces.
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