I WANT TO SHINE!

I seriously think I'm going to go insane. Or maybe I AM in sane. I am seriously going to go insane if I don't receive a magical phone call soon! I am obsessively checking the website that say whether or not casting offers have gone out. I fell as though I have been holding my breath waiting to exhale. I know I should just CALM DOWN - but I can't - the excitement is too much - the possibility - the hope. I've been SO CLOSE! IT'S TIME TO BE THERE! COME on phone! RING!

BTW - I can belt now. I don't know what happened. It's no ethel merman - but it passes well enough for a dance call or something.

BLAH! BUT RING RING RING RING RING RING RING!

I've been trying to distract myself by doing apartmenty things, doctor appointments, bill paying, paperwork, figuring out the muscles for musicians dance classes with Cara and JP, and an original one act opera to direct with JP, his friend Athena, and my friend Eva, learning new music for myself, the usual dance classes, sadly - there aren't many auditions this week - just my ANNIE callback (COME ON NEWFOUND BELT ! LET'S GET ME A JOB!) All of which SHOULD mean - I am BEYOND busy - yet - my stupid brain just thinks - RINGRINGRING!

I am seriously going to go INSANE!

Even hanging out with Michael who is visiting from Germany, or the director of Iolanthe, or visiting the highline for the first time, doesn't seem to distract me! BLAAAAAH!

It's so exciting - so nerve-wracking - so hopefuly! PLEASE HOPE COME TO FRUITION FOR ONCE! Let me not just BELIEVE it can happen - let me WITNESS it happen! Everyone keeps saying if I don't get it - there's something better waiting int he wings - but I'm done with waiting int he wings - I'm ready to take center stage! Ready willing and able! LET ME SHINE!:)