entering 2012

The year 2012 - it strikes fear into the hearts of all those who believe in the ancient Mayan calendar. It strikes fear into me too - but not for the same reason.

I don't believe that the world is going to end in some cataclysmic disaster. Earth won't get split into two or be hurled out of orbit. But if it is - hey - at least I was there to see how it all ended.

What scares me so much more if my own little world. So much I want to make happen - so much I'm scared I won't.

For the first time in my life I feel old. Like - o.k. there is stuff that was supposed to be done by now. Why isn't it done? Things that range from the silly, trivial, and mundane to things that are survival skills and life milestones. I want to run backwards on the timeline - but I know that's not how it works. You gotta plug along forward. There's so much I want to learn and so little time to learn it. So many frustrating conversations that don't seem to contribute or enrich.

I hope my happy wishes and dreams come true for 2012.