Things.

I wish that things would always work out!  Auditions, jobs, relationships.  It just sucks when they don't.  When they DO - there is happiness and glitter and celebrations!  When they don't - there is just this bag of mixed every changing emotions where you stomach used to be, and it makes it hard to be a functional human being that people like being around.  Good thing I have such awesome tolerant friends!

Re: relationship - the thing making me lose sleep - I miss all the things that were good and comfortable. Naturally the moment I broke it off THAT's all I could remember - not the frustrating parts.  Emotions suck.  I wish these things were easy.  I hear stories of true love, where people bring out the best in each other and glow when they see one another, they encourage and support one another and make life monumentally better.  I see them doing super sweet nice things for one another and working together as a team and building upon each other's ideas!  I even see my own brother capable of doing this!  And yet I, in my ENTIRE LIFE, have never been able to make this happen.  I don't know if it's the fact I work in theatre, or my "passions" are strange (HEY! I LIKE HOCKEY!), or that there is something fundamentally wrong with me - incapable of being in a functional relationship - and it seems like a cruel joke that I believe so strongly in fairy tales and live in this operatic Shakespearean fantasy, yet in real life, have never experienced love or a functional relationship.

BUT - I have experienced a lot of other SUPREMELY wonderful things.  I've seen great astronomical events with a NASA scientist, I've worked as an equity actor, I assistant directed for my hero of heroes, I worked with the RSC, I shook hands with Salman Rushdie, traveled Europe, had a great education, been on a t.v. set, pet a giraffe, gone to a Broadway opening night part for a SHOW I WORKED ON, won a haiku contest, directed many plays, figure skated and drove a zamboni, been a news correspondent at the Olympics (Figure skating specialist), seen the Daily Show get filmed, Seen Niagra Falls, gone to the beach, laughed with amazing friends, and much more that I'm sure I could remember were I not so tired.  I've had so much magic for which I'm thankful for.  So many things that HAVE worked out.   I know life is a mix of good and bad, and I just hope I have more good than bad and that I know it!

And that one day --- I might find --- "the one."

YAY sappy love entry.

The End.