Friday, January 8, 2010

The curious incident of last night...

Last night - the incident which had me so upset - put in it's most simplified form is this:

A friend from skating's brother (yeah - we met a long time ago - lol - havent skated in about 2 years!) asked me to the opera this coming Saturday. He would pay - and we would both get dressed up and have dinner before hand. I - feeling a bit adventurous - said yes. Yesterday, he decided he would rather take Chloe and gave my ticket away. He then asked me if I was upset and if so - why. I hardly think it warrants and explanation.

However, in my tizzy of wondering why guys always treat me like shit and hating the world and thinking I must be heinously ugly - I had an epiphany about what I need to do - and how to do it.

It has nothing to do with love - or lack of thereof - but everything to do with career. I don't wish to divulge anything until the plan starts to come to fruition. Nothinkg irks me more than when I write down an evil plan and then nothing comes of it. This way, if it doesnt work out -only I will know. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Diabolical - I know.

I also think - the more I read - the more I see myself in Kenneth Branagh --- of course - I don't have nearly enough hubris to believe I have the ridiculous of natural talent he has been given, but our minds seems to work in uncannily similiar ways. It is unlocking and releasing and unstiffling all of these emotions, feelings, ideas, plans, motivations, inspirations, fears, and courage which I have been repressing for so long. It is blowing my mind - and making the day both worth waking up for an unbearable to endure. Unbearable only because there is so much to do and so little time - where to begin - how to get everything done - and why am I in ballet when I should be out winning an Oscar or running a company - or talking to Geilgud - or Rovert - or whoever! And of course, the very belief that any of these things could happen is what makes it worth leaping out of bed for.

Additionally, I discovered that MMD, who I used to AD for, is directing an equity production OKLAHOMA! I - actually cried when I saw the listing. Happy crying - but crying. There is hope that MMD will actually see me sing! OKLAHOMA is a ridiculously perfect show for me! BALLET! OPERA! HIGH NOTES! Of course, there are MANY other girls who are opera singing ballet dancers, and MMD IS indeed a Bway director now and the theatre presenting it is very prestigious - so who knows if I'll actually book anything - but the very possibility makes my head spin! (PS - it runs in rep with FUNNY GIRL directed by another director. The need - roller skaters who can sing!!!!) So with THIS information - I think - wait! I HAVE to be in ballet and all that jazz - not stalking British theatre deities - so that I can be in that! OR - CHAVA in Fiddler in the roof! Have to get skinny- have to get talented - have to be amazing! Head spinnnnnnning out of control!

So - maybe I'm destined to be the Old Maid of the card game - but I know I will create great art - some way or another! It may take time - but it WILL happen! All it takes is faith and trust and a little bit of pixie dust!:)

Now - I'm wondering why I was sent not 1 but 5 Corgi calendars. I do indeed loves roos - but 5?

1 comment:

  1. The real question is, "Did you get the Corgi calendar that you wanted?" The Corgi day-planner is still available on line. Unfortunately, it is not restricted to ginger colored Pembrokes.

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