weird day

Today was a very very strange day. I am convinced that most of the people in my vocal workshop are not mentally stable. While I do envy their ability to cry without thinking about their dead dog for 40 minutes --- I'm not sure I envy their inability to STOP crying, or to throw up immediately after crying, or perhaps more oddly, take their shirts off whilst crying. I'm not sure I have ever been compelled to take my shirt off in front of a group of people while crying. I suppose this means they are free with their emotions and lack inhibitions - and maybe I should show my nipples to world like two other young ladies did - but - maybe I should go back to directing instead...or - become a better actress?

After watching some very strange renditions of songs such as DAY-O the banana boat song - and Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera - I began second doodling on my paper - hoping that bad karma won't result in a miserable performance on Wednesday...It's also strange because several of the people in the workshop are not --- very good - but Mary tells them they are fabulous and stars and should be working right now! And I wonder --- if everything everyone tells me is just as --- fanciful? falsely encouraging? quixotic? far from the truth? Hyperbolic? It doesn't help that we got the dvds of our last showcase today - and while I actually look really really pretty and "act" very well - my singing is ---- a weeee bit pitchy at place. I mean - it's undeniable - yet - everyone denies it and says I'm not! WHY DO WE ALL DELUDE EACH OTHER!? Crazy. (PS - I'm just as guilty of this deluding as everyone else.)

Then I went to Jana and Pilates - normal - phew!

Then - ate dinner with Kat - on the train home - I got a text from Cara - saying she got a job as a topless dancer in Vegas which she is taking - which is pretty darn weird in my humble opinion - but she is happy so good for her.

Then I came home where one of the Pinafore boys started telling me via IM that I needed to do sense memory for the role of Tzeitel - and imagine all of the bad penises that have entered me - or having to live with fat conductors man's penis - imagine that horror that I would not want to live with - then imagine his (boy IMing) robotic penis as Motel or something - It was SOOOOOO disturbing! I promptly stopped IMing - and thought about roo- resulted in uncontrollable sobbing for a while and now I'm watching weird BBC Austen movies to think happy thoughts before bed....

Alright - well - THAT was a weird day...

May tomorrow be AMAZING Wonderful and fantastic - and if weird - weird for all the right reasons and all the best ways!:)