ham- the good cut please!

There is something uniquely delicious about the ham my dad gets at Publix.  I believe it is simply thinly slices boar's head ham - different varieties - sometimes maple glazed, sometimes honey baked, sometimes with black pepper around the rim - but always delectable.  Thinking A) I'm a little sick of sushi and B) what a great way to say money - to make myself a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch, I went to my local Fairway supermarket and asked for thinly sliced Boar's Head ham.  What I got was the butt end of the ham - and it was tough and most definitely not delicious.  I was sad.  So I went back again and asked for the maple glazed ham.  I happily rode the subway home (reading my book - which - during that subway ride - magically transformed from a historical fiction novel about the westernization of Japan to rather graphic lesbian porn) thinking of goody - I'm gonna have a DEEEEE-LICIOUS ham and cheese sandwich for lunch tomorrow.  So I woke up at 6 a.m. so I could make it to the SHOWBOAT call at AEA.  I excitedly run to fridge and look at my ham - and I have thinly sliced ham not even the size of a dollar bill!  EVEN MORE THE BUTT END OF THE HAM!  I WAS LIVID!  I shouldnt have to specifiy - I don't want to gross END of the ham - I was the NICE MIDDLE PART OF THE HAM!  GAH!  My attempt to duplicate the glorious ham and cheese of home was foiled once again.  I'm through with the Fairway deli.  After having to wait 15 minutes in line for gross butt ends of deli ham - I'm going to Citarella next door.  Maybe they will have the decency to give me the NICE ham.

So I've been feeling slightly panicky lately, and I finally figured out why.  My mom implies that I do nothing with my life, that I spend all of my time of facebook, and hanging with stupid people.  I would like to object this fact.  My days are actually very full.  I'll take 2-4 dance classes, if I don't have a voice lesson I"ll practice my singing, I'll go to an audition or 2 (of coure I'm never seen - but I DO go), me and Alena have been planning our showcase.  (Though we may have to seek another theatre, the lady in charge of the theatre we WANT is extraordinarily bad at getting back to us.  I heard from her two days ago saying "I'll let you know tomorrow."  Two days later - haven't heard a thing.)  One day things will happen with Giraffes Cant Dance.  I read books.  I red the news.  I've gone to meetup groups.  My friends and I go on hikes in the palisades.  I would actually say my life is very full - just not monetarily lucrative.  I DO apply to jobs, but alas I've not been employed.  As aforementioned - I do not know WHY.  My mom said she wanted something to tell Mrs Richman when she bragged about Tiffany or something like that.  I'm sorry I'm not yet on Broadway - or officially doing "Anything."  I AM training - and making good use of my time.  There isn't much more I can do.  If I spread myself too thin - nothing will ever come to fruition. You don't want to be a jack of all trades and master of none.  I don't know what to tell her.  I don't know how do things any better than I am now.  This stuff takes time.  Reinking wasnt hired for ANYTHING for over a YEAR since she got to NYC - and she moved here with a really good agent AND and equity card.  I have neither.  I've only really been auditioning since January - so patience - patience please.  Getting all jittery and panicky isn't helping anything.  To perform my best at auditions I need to be relaxed - and not desperate.  Just share my talents and have fun.  The auditors can read desperation.

In other news - I have found a tap class I actually really ENJOY!  It is inspiring and fun, the teacher is patient and helpful.  I also found a class that is horrible and the teacher is mean and ate watermelon through the entire class - but I learned a heck of a lot in that class - so I suppose I should keep it up.