obsessed

Apparently I have become an ingenue.  I don't know how when or why this happened - but somehow it did.  I find this incredibly odd since my whole life I've always felt like the quirky ugly side kick - but somehow - I have now become "perfect" for Christine in Phantom, Ariel in Mermaid, and ----- this one I find a HUGE stretch - Galinda in Wicked.  Galinda in Wicked?  WTF?  The blonde popular sorority type girl????   So weird.  It's all a little scary too.  I don't understand how this happened....and when there is expectation - there is a lot of pressure.  When I listen to my voice - I just get frustrated and mad and hear everything that isnt Sierra.  (which is everything - since I am NOT Sierra.)  I also  have to get over my desire to always be perfect - to get better I'm gonna have to sound bad a lot - as I experiment and figure things out - but I'm afraid of people hearing me not sound "perfect."  (I don't think I sound anywhere CLOSE to perfect.)  Most of all - I need to learn to ACT and SING simultaneously - THAT is WAYYYYYY harder than it looks.  

Anyways - I've become positively obsessed with this entire thing.  Obsessively watching youtube videos of shows I want to do.  Obsessively recording myself and playing it back and recording again. Discussing the characters with anyone who will listen.  Discussing interpretations of the characters and their situations with everyone who will lend an eat.  Comparing choices made by the different actors.   Reading about their interpretations of their characters - interviews about why the made the choices they did.  GAH!  I just want to make it happen to badly!  I just have to figure out HOW!

I was thinking I should ask my friend in mermaid to help me out once a week with the dances for the dance audition.  I figure I have Sierra's teacher helping me with the voice, why not work on the dance?  However, at the same time - I might just have a nervous break down if I'm cut immediately.  But - with more preparation - how CAN they cut me!:)  But then again its theatre you can suck and get hired or be perfect and be cut - or be perfect and be cast and suck and get cut - or be perfect but have an off day - or be equally as perfect as three other people - but they wanted the person in the blue leotard instead of the purple.  It's crazy!  So I guess you just have to be prepared and work hard - be persistent - be strong both emotionally and physically - attempt to meet as many influential people who can get you hired as possible - and most importantly - have fun!

I sent Rovert a fax about being his assistant for "night music."  We shall see if he ever gets back to me.  

Reinking (and the cast of HAIR) was on Letterman tonight.  They were awesome!  The show looks like so much fun and I feel like a crappy friend do not having seen it yet - but seeing starfish pastie girl perform twice.  Blah.  Epic fail as best friend.

My love of all things Italian continues!  Francesco is being his glorious Francesco-y self.  Grom ice cream is gonna start carrying MINT starting tomorrow!  (May 1!!!!)  And I think one of the hot Italian sandwich men is flirting with me - I HOPE he is - hehehehe.  Whenever I go in (i.e. every thursday) he comes running over to make me my sandwich - he knows my name - but I don't know his!  Perhaps he will always remain - hot Italian sandwich man!

Banana week is drawing to a close.  Tomorrow or Saturday will be  day of banana bread glory!

Annabella has started texted me using a code name - she is starfish and I am --- Mermaid - oh - no one will EVER guess who that is.

I think since our talk yesterday - things with German will be better here on the home front!:)  Hooooray!

Gina has a picture of her baby up on facebook.  It's actually ---- cute!  Shudder!